Today was a fun day, a JDRF luncheon day! Time to kick off the 2009 walk for Diabetes :) I always look forward to these events. I love seeing everyone from our local JDRF chapter...they are just the BEST. Its so heartwarming to see all of our D friends, and meet new families. There is just nothing quite like knowing all of these people walk the same miles we do each day. Heartbreaking too, in many ways. Seeing the littlest ones with their pumps, getting their finger pokes, the juice boxes....it just tears me up inside. Of course, in the end, I always leave JDRF events feeling inspired with a new sense of HOPE.
As Today's JDRF parent took the stage to share her story, I promised myself I wouldn't get teary eyed. I guess I just can't help it. I shed tears every single time, with every single story shared! The voice today was a mom that has two kids with D.....which for me, for everyone I'm sure, really takes you back to Diabetes being scary again, because we just dont know if our one child with Diabetes may some day be two. Every parents worst nightmare. This Mom spoke about her 2nd childs diagnosis being even more painful than the first, and I can completely understand why it must be so. This mom already knew with that 2nd diagnosis what she was REALLY in for. She already knew the months that follow diagnosis are torture. Not only for your child....but to every family members heart. She already knew that those first days of despair and numbness after your childs diagnosis are nothing compared to the days that follow when reality sets in.
I still remember the day Maddison cried because of Diabetes for the first time. I dont think I could ever forget the anger and despair I felt at that moment. This day was about a week into her diagnosis, I had no warning that her tolerance of Diabetes was just about to crumble. With a simple call out for Maddison to come to the dinner table, our lives changed just like that. Diabetes hurt emotionally for the first time, and Maddison broke down. She didnt want another shot just because it was time to eat. Her realization that Diabetes was here to stay had suddenly hit her. Full force.... like the moment you realize a loved one is gone. I know how she felt at that seemingly innocent moment. Having been there myself just 9 months prior, it was unbearable for me to see her having those same feelings as child.
Anyway.....our JDRF walk this year is on HALLOWEEN!! The kids were invited to wear a costume for the kickoff event today, so Maddison threw on her new cowgirl hat with matching pink boots that Aunt M bought her for her birthday. My little cowgirl....years back, Maddison used to be known around school for her cowgirl boots. She wore them everyday, even in the warmest weather! Other parents would ask me if it was my daughter that wears the boots :) YEP! She's all mine, and today those cowgirl boots earned her 2nd place for the early JDRF costume "contest."
Fundraising this year is TOUGH, and....I'm totally not feeling it. I dont know if I feel unmotivated knowing the economy is where it is, or if I feel unmotivated and hopeless for other reasons. I feel guilty for not giving the extra effort this year with fundraising....I was hoping today's walk kickoff lunch would do just that....kick me into gear. But, it hasn't. I still feel overwhelmed with life and feel like I dont have anything else to give at this point.
Being Monday, the girls got to miss school for the JDRF event today. On the way home, I got a call from Josh saying our school was under lock down. WHAT? A REAL lock down or just a drill? A REAL lock down. I promise, we don't live in "that" kind of neighborhood, hearing this was unreal. In a nearby shopping area (2 blocks away!) a gunman fired shots at a business. He then fled and committed suicide. Right here....in my own "quiet" neighborhood. SCARY. I reported this news to the girls, and Maddison then turned and said that she has her Diabetes supplies in her backpack nearby for situations like this. Apparently our school already had a lock down drill this year, and Maddison was well versed on the importance of having her meter with sugars available. Imagine that. I never thought this would actually happen! WOW, am I happy I had my kids with me today!
In other news, I'm finding that I must have TMJ or something going on. What I thought was an ear infection, is a painful locking jaw. It hurts right through my jaw, deep into my ear if I move or chew at all. I cant open my mouth entirely, and cant bite down to chew. OUCH. Now if I can find the time to get to an appointment for myself. ACK! Maddison is getting yet another sore throat....that comes and goes......I wonder if I need to get a recheck on the strep? Numbers are also running a tad higher, thats what I get for talking I guess! Hannah's first Volleyball game is a home game on Wednesday. I cant wait to see her back on that court! TTFN!!
Moving my blog again
8 years ago