The craziness of managing Diabetes in a child. An all and only about Type 1 Diabetes x's two in our house.
I'm not the depressed, obsessed, controlling, nagging, angry, and complaining person that this blog reflects. This blog is where I leave my daily Diabetes frustrations and move on. I do hope I can help others like us by voicing these feelings and being honest, helping you know you are not alone!
I remember the first Halloween we had after Diabetes came into our lives, (2006) it was crazy stressful, even though Maddison had been dx'd 10 months prior. I remember my biggest stress was managing blood sugars while Maddison zoomed around the neighborhood after having eaten Pizza for dinner. Its so sad how simple things like pizza and zooming around made me stress myself to tears so often back then. I'll NEVER forget the early days with Diabetes. EVER. I'll remember those emotions until the day I die. -Sigh-
I honestly never thought I would get to this "comfort" place we have found in our "new normal" lives. Of course we still have days where LOWS freak me out, like Saturday when Maddison called me from a friends house with a BS of 34. THIRTY FOUR!!! Is that number crashing or staying? Lows when Maddi is away from me ALWAYS freak me out a bit (or alot in this case) And sometimes ketones make me want to cry...but overall, Diabetes is a non issue and pretty well behaved. Tonight Im confident will be no different!!
((KNOCK KNOCK, KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!))
Time brings knowledge. Experience. Comfort. Nowadays we just do it. Bolus it, SWAG it, correct it, check it, bolus it. Bolus it. Bolus it. Move on.
Ok, maybe there will be ALOT more bolusing going on tonight, but chances are the affects of zooming through the streets to the next candy house will keep blood sugars on the lower side anyway. Tonight Maddison will eat too much candy like everyone else. I probably will too. Then each day after Halloween we get a yummy candy treat for awhile. I sort all the pure sugar treats and keep them for lows only. Then candy starts to secretly disappear without the kids even noticing! (evil laugh) Besides the fact that I WILL keep some of my favorites for myself, I'll also take some to work. Those ladies at work will eat anything! I throw ALOT away. Freeze some. Maybe send some to the troops over seas......Halloween is just another day with Diabetes, until bedtime comes of course! I expect to be up often tonight checking Maddisons sugar thanks to the combination of chocolate and her running wild in the streets, OH well!! Just another day in the life! Happy Halloween!!
Randomly over the past week Ive been waking up in the high 250's, which for me just doesn't happen. (lucky, I know) Then I began to wonder if maybe Ive been going low overnight, then rebounding thanks to Mr Liver. Which again, doesn't happen for me. (can you say denial?) Things are changing for my Diabetes over here. Im not liking what Im seeing. The "easy" Diabetes I used to manage, is no more. Now I have to actually do some logging and use some serious brain power to figure things out. Whether it be progression of the disease, or changing hormones from my Hysterectomy, stress, weather....I dont know. But it needs to be figured out. Quickly.
Ive taken note lately that Ive been having some night time scary feelings while sleeping....
The first one was about a week ago, I have no idea the time because I never actually got out of bed. I was still asleep, or half asleep, and kept telling myself I was low and I needed to wake up and get sugar NOW! But I didn't. Or, maybe I just couldn't. I remember my mind chanting to me..."you are low Kelly" "get up and test Kelly" over and over and over.
I never checked myself. I can recall several nights this same scenario happened. Im not sure why....I have still been checking Maddison at Midnightish and 3amish just like I always do (still half asleep) so why didn't I ever check myself? Am I really THAT asleep while I carry on the night time checking routine for Maddi?
So last night I slapped on the CGM and what do I see this morning when I review my recorded numbers?
1am blood sugar of 38
2am blood sugar of 58
3am blood sugar of 124
4am blood sugar of 170
5am blood sugar of 232
6am blood sugar of 268
All I can say is, they need to make these alarms louder! I never woke up when I hit the 38, but I'm eternally thankful MR Liver stepped in. Starting out my day with a seizure would have SUCKED. A coma would have F'ed up my mind FOREVER and dying from Diabetes would have RUINED my family. Screw you Diabetes.
Although Im shocked and irritated the CGM didnt wake me up for this low, Im thankful I have the technology. Thank goodness I put on the CGM last night, for I may have never believed this was happening with my sugars overnight. Now I have a starting point of where to make adjustments. Sometimes you have to SEE it to believe it. 38 can = 268. Who would have thought?
Two weeks ago hot flashes finally caught up with me! Damn surgical menopause. I really thought I'd be one of the lucky ones that gets off easy without needing estrogen replacement for unbearable symptoms. -sigh- Wishful thinking!
I guess I shouldn't complain since I haven't had any menopausal feelings sooner. It's already been over two months since my surgery! The hot flashes came on so suddenly one day that I thought I was sick. I didn't even realize at the time that I was having hot flashes! If you have never experienced a hormonal hot flash, let me tell ya, they are NOT exaggerating when they say they can become disruptive to your life! These hot flashes feel like a high fever. My face suddenly gets hot (like when you open the oven!) and then the heat travels down my neck leaving me drenched in sweat. No joke! By the time my entire body feels on fire, the chills decide to take over. Let's just say I look like a weirdo out in public, and I'm not sleeping well at night! It's crazy! I thought women who complain of hot flashes were just whiners....HA! It really is THAT bad!
I had no choice but to start the hormone patch. The first few days brought headaches, crazy blood sugars and laziness. I have now made it through the first week and I'm finally starting to feel better, I can sleep without waking up in a pool of sweat! But....my blood sugars SUCK, partly because I'd like to just eat all day. I think Ive already gained 5pounds this week! Stupid hormones. Right after surgery my insulin needs dropped dramatically, even with the infection and PE I developed......but now? This estrogen patch is kicking my ass with 300's here, there and everywhere. I'm increasing insulin across the board and it ain't budging! I'm supposed to manage Maddisons numbers through her teen years!? Ack!
It's a vicious cycle. High makes me tired. Makes me grumpy. Unmotivated. Headachy. Irritable. Lazy. At this point I don't know if the high blood sugars are making me a mess or if the patch dose just isn't right! Damn menopause has caught up with me!
On the other hand, I've been having blood draws every 10 days since my PE to check my INR. FINALLY after 8 weeks of adjusting my Coumadin doses they have me where I need to be. Apparently Coumadin is another medication that is strongly influenced by EVERYTHING. What you eat, stress, sleep, exercise, hormones.....sound familiar? Like I really needed ANOTHER crazy ass medication to manage. Sheesh! Im feeling a little irritated with my own body today, can you tell?
On the bright side, Maddisons numbers haven't required logging or changes for many, many weeks now. Diabetes has been our friend. But, this week Maddi is starting with some lows before lunch, so im sure logging and tweaking is right around the corner. Cooler weather is coming ya know......even though it was 96 degrees today, I'm begging for cooler days ahead, even if it means blood sugars may go bonkers for awhile!
My Hannah has been caught up playing for both the JV and Varsity teams at school, loving every minute of it. Last week she came down with strep AGAIN, just like she does several times when school starts each year. I think her immune system weakens when she has weekend tournaments along with weekday games, homework and practice every night. She is just steps away from having those dang tonsils removed....each time she recovers slower. In fact, She felt so sick this time around that she asked me to check her blood sugar. 114. Fasting. No comment. Which reminds me of her last a1c when she tested for Mono last year.....5.5%.....technically considered "borderline." Again, no comment.....
I just can't get caught up in all that. So, we don't. We just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.......