It takes a team

Thank you school nurse for consulting me FIRST in these crazy times of lows for Maddison!! THANK YOU!! We are a team. It takes a team to manage Diabetes. An entire TEAM. Mom, Dad, siblings, neighbors, friends....we are all needed to catch Maddison's lows before they become scary, for sometimes she can't lately it seems! Is this what I get for turning down the CGM? LOWS? Scary lows? PLEASE don't make me have to decide between keeping my child safe and keeping her happy. She doesn't want a CGM. I dont either. Isn't it enough to see her attached to a pump every day? I don't want another device attached to my childs body! PLEASE! Enough with the lows!!

I've always said when the time comes and Maddison's Diabetes isnt "easily" managed
anymore I will consider the CGM....I really HOPE this isnt the time!!

The past two days Maddison hasn't had any lows. She has been high because the new ratio and sensitivity changes. I've been over riding the pump suggestion for corrections of highs and dosing far less than the norm, knowing she will drop. About a month ago before all this craziness, I was thinking to myself how AWESOME it is that everything is set "just right" for Maddison Diabetes. You bolused, she ended up under 130 without going low. That never lasts long does it? I guess THIS is what I get for thinking.

Maddison felt low at 8:10am this morning, thats just an hour and a half after breakfast. She was 307. Two hours later she was 40. FORTY. Maddison woke up high this morning after I under corrected highs all night as I have been doing. What worked yesterday, didnt work last night. Who would have known? If the pump suggested .4 for the high, I dosed a .2 instead. Then this morning I correct a 248 with the same HALF dose and she's 40 3hrs PP!!?? Make up your freaking mind DIABETES! I'm DONE with you being this way!!

What would I do without our school nurse? She called after Maddison's low to ask many questions today, I think she is seeing that this is a weird spell, not just Mom being clueless on how to make changes to stop the craziness. I explained how to over ride the pump suggestions. I explained my theories. I've explained WHY we bolus back some of the low carbs after she is stable at a higher number. (in this case she was 3hrs PP) We are a team. I appreciate her interest in this craziness, especially since I'm feeling entirely defeated right about now. Two high days. One LOW day. One good day, one LOW day. Three high days. One low day. TWENTY TWO!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!!??

The nurse is calling back at lunch to give me Maddison's number and I will give direction, because.....Guess what I did for the first time as of today? Turned Maddison's ratio BACK to 1:25 as it should be, because she has been HIGH the past 3 days after lunch! So, now I'm worried!! Going back to the "normal" ratio today after a 40 this morning!!?? NO!!! Its already programmed in the pump to dose that old ratio as of 11am today!!! I'm gonna have to make a split minute decision over the phone for lunch dosing today. THIS IS MY CHILDS LIFE YOU STUPID DISEASE!!! Make a split second decision that affects my childs life??!!! Her well being!!?? Her health!!!?? MY HEALTH!! My mental sanity!! Probably my blood pressure! I HATE this!!!