I have said this before, and I will say it a million times.....YES, I know my blog can be a downer. I realize I am not the optimistic person I used to be when it comes to Diabetes, especially. If you want sugar coating and someone that sees only the good in life, you wont find that person here. I won't miss you when you stop reading my blog, and I don't really care how many followers I have. This blog is for ME. Whoever emailed me another nasty email last night about my sucky pessimistic views, good riddance!
I started this blog in 2007 when I finally started to feel "comfortable" with caring for Maddison's Diabetes around her 1yr anniversary. Back then, Maddison's blood sugars were predictable. She rarely had many highs, and most adjustments worked when things needed to be changed. There were no wild guesses and feelings of WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW. Most people know this as the Honeymoon. As the name describes, its a fabulous time when you start to feel like you can defeat this demon. You really think that you have it all figured out. You start to think that Diabetes isn't so hard after all. Starting my blog back then, the weight was lifted, life was "easy" again and I was naive to think that Diabetes would remain without constant changes. My blog was started when I really WAS inspired by Diabetes. (I still am, but have a hard time finding why lately) I wanted to blog my feelings so other parents knew they aren't alone in the emotions of the disease. I was a different person back then, stuck in false elation that I had Diabetes figured out. I will get back to who I was....tough times and hard feelings come and go. Right now my harsh feelings are a go in life. Stop reading my blog if you can't handle my current attitude, really. I don't need you judging my outlook in life and harassing me by email.
Reality. I've been stuck in this Diabetes reality for a few years now. Must I remind my readers that I have my own Diabetes to carry around? Having my own Diabetes to carry around means that when I poke my finger (6-10times day)I think of Maddison. Wherever she is, I wonder what her BS is too. Then there are the 10-15 blood sugar checks for Maddison a day. I'm constantly thinking of numbers, and alot of times they aren't what I want them to be. There are the sleepless nights of watching blood sugars. Pardon me if I'm not a ray of sunshine for my readers lately. I think it's a little something called "burn out." Stressed, and let me assure you LIFE in general has been stressful for my family this past year, just as it has for everyone.
I've said this before, and I will say it a million more times. Did you see my disclaimer on my blog? I see the good in life everyday, but that doesn't mean that I dont recognize, mention and cope with all the "bad" in life too. Then I move on. My blog (unfortunately) has turned into a place I leave my frustrations and emotions for the day. It isn't what I planned. I'm not a bad person for the feeling that I have. If you want only the good side of Diabetes, you will have to find it somewhere else. And please, dont email me anymore....I would call your emails Harrasment. Who do you think you are?
Moving my blog again
3 years ago