Oh geez

My mind is a jumble of incomplete thoughts right now. I seriously can't make a complete sentence today. Running low for two days isn't helping either. Yesterday I had my biopsy done and today the Pathologist called with a preliminary report. In comes the jumbled thoughts. The pathologist has reason to believe I have a PHYLLODES TUMOR. The biopsy itself cannot reveal whether it is for sure or not. I'm being scheduled for a lumpectomy next week. OH GEEZ! Thats about all I can find within me at this point to say.

I'm confused because in all my reading I find that this type of tumor IS considered breast cancer. BUT, it can still be benign. Benign breast cancer(??????????????????) I hate anesthesia. I've had surgery around 4 times as an adult for these crazy masses and tumors my body makes. Once again I'm in the same place. All my prior surgeries were BEFORE Diabetes. That alone freaks me out a bit. Do I have to intentionally run high during surgery so I don't go low? What does anesthesia do to blood sugar? I typically have a hard time recovering from it anyway...now with Diabetes I'm worried. Ok, I'm totally freaked out to be honest.

On the Diabetes front, Maddison's numbers are doing well overnight. This first summer morning Maddison was low right after breakfast. Imagine that. With 1.7 units still active, she would have ended up at a -300 blood sugar. Oh GEEZ. Here we go again. Amazing how school and home is so different. Back off the basals mom.

I dont really know what to think today. I don't really know what to say either. I guess we just wait, and I try hard to turn off my thinking mind. I wish they didn't even mention anything about my biopsy. I wish they just said I have to have it surgically removed. Why make me crazy with nervousness when they have to remove it be sure it is a Phyllodes tumor? Talk about torture. I feel nauseated. Seriously.