Today will be day 6 of Maddison wearing her CGM. My thoughts? I LOVE the CGM for the arrows it shows when blood sugars are rising or falling. That itself, is for me, the most helpful part. I also love that the CGM has stayed within 2-30 points at all times of Maddison's actual blood sugar. (Oh except this morning at 2am when it read 150 but Maddison was actually 280....sleeping on it I think!) The part I knew I would hate is dreading changing the sensor. Not because its painful (I shouldn't speak too soon, we have only inserted it once!) but simply because I despise Maddison having to wear yet another device. I hate seeing the tape marks and red soreness with a little red dot. Why all these devices? Isn't it time for the integrated sensor in the pump site!!?
-Sigh- The first few days Maddison said she didn't like the CGM, just because. Today she said she doesn't mind it. I would LOVE to use this CGM every day, always, with just some breaks when things are going well. But, I dont know if I can bring myself to have Maddison do so. How do you find enough room on that tiny body for 2 sites? How do you not cringe when the tape comes off, the sensor bleeds and it all becomes itchy? I just dont know. I love this thing, but I just dont know if its worth all the extra "little" things it carries with it. On the other hand, I'm SO tired of 15 finger pokes a day. Maddison's poor little fingers are mottled with so many holes. It just breaks my heart.
After all the lows at school (that have disappeared) Maddison's numbers have been crazy. There isnt any stability. I was forced to run her higher to avoid lows, but now that those are gone her insulin needs have skyrocketed. We are up to double dosing around the clock. All basal needs have doubled. Ratio's changed. Yesterday was the first day I kept Maddison under 180 all day for weeks! WHAT A RELIEF!! I WAS SOOOOO HAPPY!!! Until 8pm that is. 400's on Thursday night and 300's last night. I'm really tired. I've been up every 2 hours at night for the last week. I'm tired of Diabetes, but surprisingly, I'm not getting discouraged with these highs as I normally would. I guess I owe that to the CGM. Just being there the CGM makes me feel more capable of getting us to "stability" once again! Weird, I dont know why!
I suppose I feel armed and ready to battle these highs because I can SEE them coming. Up arrows have been my friend. Less finger pokes is true....this is month 3 of crazy numbers. I keep asking myself when this will end and I will be back to not thinking about numbers, just doing. I just don't see the end in sight. I still haven't had the actual CGM training....maybe I should start there.
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15 years ago
4 comments:
I am so glad you have this other tool. It is like everything else, something new to get used to. But when Maddison's numbers even out...and they will even out...when they do you can give her a break from it until things start changing again.
I think you needed this now, and I am so glad you have it to help you AND Maddison through! I bet it gives her some Peace of Mind at school too. :)
Im so glad to hear it is going so well and yeah it must be exhausting .I hope it all stays well. Hugs to you . God bless and take care .
My thoughts on cgm EXACTLY. I was wondering though how come she hit the 400's didn't you see it coming?
Isn't it supposed to alert you before the numbers are too high or low?
(((HUGS)))
I also had a hard time not obsessing about watching those numbers. Even though they weren't accurate most the time, I couldn't stop staring at those arrows!!!!
You're doing a fantastic job, my friend :)
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