Thursday, March 19, 2009

Oh geez, why do I have to leave her!

Oh Geez is about all I can say! Today Auntie took the day off work to spend with my girls on Spring break. Oh how I wish Diabetes will just co-operate for Auntie today! Maddison was a nice 146 at 2am....128 at 7am...but as I was ready to leave for work Maddison hit 199. Not normal without breakfast, and not a big deal most days. But, today Maddison is working on a sick day. Maddison started with a cough and sore throat the first day of our "vacation." Despite whataver is lingering, she felt good and pumped with excitement during our 2 short but sweet vacation days, THANK YOU JESUS! Of course with every cough all a "D" mom could do was worry. Surprisingly, Diabetes behaved those two days. Now add yesterdays day at the zoo, 90 degree weather and a tad too much sun....she's going downhill. All I can do is hope this is a minor sick day.

Did I mention Maddison also has a 99.8 temp? Pretty minor so far, but not when you consider the Diabetes. Small ketons....ahhh...yes. She has those too. I'm hoping those will flush easily with Powerade zero and her breakfast bolus with correction. Why....why did I have to come to work today and leave Maddison on a sick day? Sick days for children with Diabetes (for those who dont realize it) can be very serious, very fast. Yes, even a little cold. I suppose I could have stayed home, but Auntie took the day off work. I'm sure Maddison will be fine.....but the worry is enough to kill me. I hate being a pessimistic person. I wish I could just stop my mind from imaging the worst. All I could do was inform Auntie to check 2hrs after breakfast, check ketones, use the blood ketone meter if ketones are high, give tylenol and LOTS of fluids......and drive to work a nervous mess. Now, REAL reason I'm worried SO MUCH this time....

THE DREADED BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! YES!! TODAY!! YES!!! Neither mom or dad will be there! In the middle of the afternoon on spring break! For THREE hours!! ON A SICK DAY!! CAKE, ICE a JUMPY PLACE!!!!!!!!! Call me dead with a heart attack right now! This jumpy place has about 10 different bounce houses, slides and anything that you can imagine to drop your blood sugar (or raise it!) nearly in an instant. How can I send Maddison on a sick day to this Diabetes HELL? How can I NOT? Its just a damn birthday party....we do this all the time....but not on a "sick" day. Talk about a whole lot more to consider. Can I vomit now? My mind is spinning thinking about all the Hmmmm's......What number do I want her to be at when she is "sick" and going to bounce for hours AND eat cake, AND ice cream? Per the words of an Endo, you shouldn't even excersize if over 250.....what if she is? Then she has to miss the birthday party? How dare Diabetes try to steal Maddison's fun?

Its time for her BS check after breakfast......she's 102 with .6 active. Ketones still small. Hmmm...I expected her to be high. Give 8c to last her until the bolus 2.5 hours prior wears off. Hannah called, all the neighbor kids want to go swimming in the jazuzzi. Maybe even the heated pool. WOW. Someone really wants me to run home from work screaming and crying. Do you have any idea how HARD it is for me to leave Maddison on a "sick" day to begin with? Feeling like an evil mom I had to say no to the jacuzzi. She can't swim with a slight fever, even though I know she feels fine. She is actually quite looney and silly, I could hear her in the background. That made me smile and gave me some positive feelings at least. Maybe I should just call back and tell them they can swim. Why do I doubt every decision I make with this stupid disease? Stupid fever. If she didn't have the fever she could swim. I worry about her pump being off when she is sick. I guess I could bolus her in an hour for missed basal. I feel bad for whichever decision I choose.

We shall see how this day progresses I guess. I just blogged out my worries in about 5min flat on my work break.....I do have a great post with pictures from our vacation to come later today....I think I already need another vacation! (I'm so glad I have other "D" parents to ponder this day with me!)Even if I can't hear you, I know you are there.


Anonymous said...

Can you give Madison a cell phone and have her call you at work (or can Auntie check in with Madison) from the birthday party? I know she won't want to interrupt but sneak in an extra BS check or two.... That might go a long way towards making you feel better. I think you are doing the right thing by letting her go; she will have loads of fun I'm sure! All that activity in the jumping house will mitigate the effects of the cake and ice cream :)

Wendy said...

I'm so happy to hear you guys had fun in Sedona...what a difference few years make!!! WOW...seems like just yesterday we were gathering at the park with everyone else. Time flies...

Today's fun will fly by too. It'll be okay :) Crazy numbers? Probably. Happy kid? YUP!

I'll be thinking of you!