Thursday, December 31, 2009

Day 2 so far

Dad is currently 42 hours post surgery, we have already been warned that this is the hardest day. Lots of pushing him to breathe. To eat. To cough. Dad did GREAT overnight, except he was quite vulgar and angry with his male nurse. The first thing he said to me this morning was "That nurse is so mean to me, please stay with me, dont leave." I asked Dad why the nurse was so mean, and he said because "I was mean to him." I told him that this is a new day, with a new nurse. I told him they understand the anger and frustration. Move forward, only think of himself and don't worry about anyone else.

Dads talking alot today. Everything he says is heartbreaking. He is pleading in pain, and telling me how bad he feels. Then he apologized for "releasing his sorrows on me." All I could do was tell him thats why I'm here. He says he doesnt remember yesterday. Thats good. I hope he never remembers today either. He has already been up to walk today and walked alot! He is coughing strongly. Breathing well. All vitals are remarkable. Every time I tell him how good things are going his eyes light up and he says "Wow"

My mom, sisters and I finally slept decently the first time last night. We feel refreshed and more able to stay strong. Praying Dad does too.

OH....let me mention...... The Diabetes police hit me at the wrong moment this morning. They really shouldnt say anything when I'm in this emotional state....The girls are here at the hospital with me today..... They just hang out in the waiting area with us so I can still be here. I took the girls to the cafeteria first thing this morning. They got bacon, eggs, milk, apples and a donut. Paying in line, the cashier saw my JDRF shirt and asked if I work for them. I said "No, my daughter, Dad and I all have Type 1".....I COULDNT BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THE RN BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spun around and gave the most evil look. I think I even grew horns for a moment. I couldnt help it. It was a reaction gone bad. I'm so ashamed of myself for the way I responded, but I'm stressed out here people!! I said "FUCK YOU LADY, you have no right to speak one word about the food ANYONE eats." How terrible is that? I guess I really am an emotional basket case! I felt like such a loser! I rambled on as everyone stared at me. I felt like the scum of the earth at the moment. I went on saying we dont eat donuts everyday, I showed her my pump, asked her if she knew anything about Type 1 Diabetes, told her all kinds of stuff. I dont really remember half of what I said, but I know it wasn't nice. I was the freaky person losing it in the cafeteria today. Man, how embarrassing. Stress does funny things to you!


Wendy said...

Score 1 for the HOME TEAM!!!!!!!

I'll bet she'll NEVER say another word to anyone about what foods they choose again.

Um...yeah...that stress thing. Wasn't it you telling me about that crazy mother some folks were chatting about from PUSD?

I'm really happy to hear that Dad is doing so well. This is a long road, my friend. I think it's perfectly normal for him (and you!!!) to feel overwhelmed -- alot. It's painful. Everyone is bossing you around -- telling you to do things that are supposed to come breathing. Stinkin' hemodialysis that he already despises...

There's so much wrapped into one difficult package.

But he's doing well. He's exceeding everyone's expectations. He has risen ABOVE the challenges...and he's thriving.

God is good.

phonelady said...

Oh Kelly , I hate to tell you this but goodness you were totally right in telling that nosy nurse (who should have kept her opinions to herself ) to go f herself . She had no right to say anything to you at all especially when you all are eating . I remember something similar happening to me and I threw my food out and left . I applaud you and pray that God keeps working his mighty power over your dads health God bless you .

Edward said...

I was just flipping through random blogs and for some reason started reading yours... God Bless you be strong in the your faith, cause somedays that is all we have.

Jill said...

Glad your Dad is doing better today! We're continuing to pray for him :) And you had EVERY right to snap at that nurse so don't feel bad about it. LOL @ what you said! YOU GO GIRL!!! (((HUGS)))

Heidi / Jack's Pack said...

Okay, so maybe those weren't the best words to use. ;) Honestly, I probably would have done the same thing. Way to go Kelly for putting that RN in her place! She had no business commenting. She was out of line! She should feel ashamed! I hope she's learned a lesson.

Glad to hear your dad is progressing. I hope his recovery continues to go well and he feels much better soon.

I hope 2010 brings nothing but good health and happiness to you and your family!

Meri said...

OMG! That nurse messed with the wrong lady! I can't help but cheer! You said what we all WANT to say...and I say don't let yourself worry about any of it. That nurse learned a much needed lesson today.

Glad your dad is doing so well!!!

Amy said...

Oh just told her what WE ALL WANT TO SAY to the idiots who think they know everything and especially when they should know better!!!! I wanted to say that to a close friend of mine last week who questioned me about Jada eating a piece of cake!

Don't be hard on yourself...we all say and do things under tremendous stress and pressure that we normally wouldn't.

I would have felt bad, too, but maybe she'll think twice now about she responds to someone with diabetes.

CraftyLikeLindy said...

Kelly I am so glad to hear that your dad is doing well! I would have paid to see you tell that nurse off! I don't understand how people in the medical field can be so clueless!!!!!

Beth said...

You go, girl!! :)
The diabetes police have no business sticking their noses in anywhere, and to do that in the hospital where (odds are really good) everyone is stressed out and on edge? She was looking to get chewed out, I think! If she works in the hospital, surely she must know that people are probably NOT at their best at that picking at them is probably not the wisest'd think, anyhow!
I'm so glad your dad is improving and things are going well so far. It is a long road and the stress is going to keep piling up, so let it out however you need to!
Big hugs - here's hoping that 2010 is a FAR better year than 2009 has been for your dad!
Love you!!