Saturday, December 19, 2009

Like nothing's going on

Today was officially Day 1 of Xmas break for the girls. We got to sleep in. That alone made my day! After Maddie's doctor appointment we went to visit my Dad for lunch. He looks good. Back to life, as if nothing is going on. Deep inside I know there is a ticking time bomb. How do you pretend its best to not even acknowledge that? I'm so confused inside that I can't even feel. I just don't know how to move on past the worry and fear that these are the last days my dad is alive. Tonight? Tomorrow? A few years? How long until the time bomb takes my Dad from us?

Xmas break Day 1 has also brought lows for Maddison. I just dont understand why insulin needs are so much less when she's home than when she's at school. Is school really THAT stressful for her? Seriously. Leave the girl home from school and its like her pancreas works again. I just dont get it. Good thing I have a school pattern and a home pattern set in her pump. Now if I can just get the home pattern adjusted right over the next few days I will be much more relaxed and ready to get Christmas over with! Terrible, I know!

1 comment:

phonelady said...

nope not terrible it is the way you feel and you should always be honest about your feelings . I am ready for christmas to be over for the year and ready for next year to come . I know better things are coming in the new year my dear. well merry christmas and happy new years to your household .