I'm at work and the schools phone number pops up on my cell phone. Thats never good. Anxiously already, I answer the phone, hoping the nurse is reporting an unusual high. If our nurse calls to report a low blood sugar I know its a bad one.
Nurse: Hi, I wanted to talk to you about a low Maddison just had this morning.
IN COMES MY HEART PALPITATIONS, FASTER, FASTER...
Nurse: Maddison was 37 at 9:28 today, she said she felt confused but didnt really feel low at all.
The good news, Maddison came up easily to 121 after 3 glucose tabs followed by 2 PB crackers. The bad new is, it seems every damn year Maddison's teacher has to learn the hard way how SERIOUS lows can be! Because it was close to Maddison's regular testing time at 9:30am, the teacher sent Maddison alone to the nurse. While she was confused. I'm angry. My heart is broken. Our poor babies.
The nurse assures me she will talk to the teacher. I'm sure she didnt realize Maddison felt low, but if it were ME, I would have seen the paleness in her face. The silliness, the slow response time, the unstable walk. In comes the guilt. I adjusted Maddison's ratio for breakfast today....the last 2 days she has come in a bit too low at 79. The nurse gives 2 carbs for those and she ends up fine, but then strangely in the 180-260 range for lunch. DAMN BASAL RATES. Do I look like a rocket scientist? I'm trying to do my best here, only for Diabetes to land me flat on my back as Meri expressed yesterday. She couldnt have said it any better. I'm with ya today Meri. -Sigh-
So here I sit at work. Feeling entirely alone. Helpless. Scared. Guilty. Angry. Sad. Numb in some ways....strange. I think I've lost my concentration for the day. Distracted. My heart palpitations caused me to feel low. I'm not. Now all I see are 37's dancing around in my brain when I should be working. It wouldnt be so hard if the 37 was home with me, but a bad low at school just kills me inside. ((Special HUGS to all our T1 kids today))
Moving my blog again
4 years ago