Thursday, August 20, 2009


I'm at work and the schools phone number pops up on my cell phone. Thats never good. Anxiously already, I answer the phone, hoping the nurse is reporting an unusual high. If our nurse calls to report a low blood sugar I know its a bad one.

Nurse: Hi, I wanted to talk to you about a low Maddison just had this morning.


Me: OK...

Nurse: Maddison was 37 at 9:28 today, she said she felt confused but didnt really feel low at all.

The good news, Maddison came up easily to 121 after 3 glucose tabs followed by 2 PB crackers. The bad new is, it seems every damn year Maddison's teacher has to learn the hard way how SERIOUS lows can be! Because it was close to Maddison's regular testing time at 9:30am, the teacher sent Maddison alone to the nurse. While she was confused. I'm angry. My heart is broken. Our poor babies.

The nurse assures me she will talk to the teacher. I'm sure she didnt realize Maddison felt low, but if it were ME, I would have seen the paleness in her face. The silliness, the slow response time, the unstable walk. In comes the guilt. I adjusted Maddison's ratio for breakfast today....the last 2 days she has come in a bit too low at 79. The nurse gives 2 carbs for those and she ends up fine, but then strangely in the 180-260 range for lunch. DAMN BASAL RATES. Do I look like a rocket scientist? I'm trying to do my best here, only for Diabetes to land me flat on my back as Meri expressed yesterday. She couldnt have said it any better. I'm with ya today Meri. -Sigh-

So here I sit at work. Feeling entirely alone. Helpless. Scared. Guilty. Angry. Sad. Numb in some ways....strange. I think I've lost my concentration for the day. Distracted. My heart palpitations caused me to feel low. I'm not. Now all I see are 37's dancing around in my brain when I should be working. It wouldnt be so hard if the 37 was home with me, but a bad low at school just kills me inside. ((Special HUGS to all our T1 kids today))


Wendy said...


This made me sick to my stomach...I feel like Maddison is mine -- okay, so I know she's not...not even half mine, but it doesn't matter. She's mine anyway...

I can't stop thinking about what could have happened. I know it DIDN'T happen, but all sorts of coo coo things could have happened. How do you explain to the teacher what just happened when it coincided with her regular check?????

I don't know if it would help, but Addy has a buddy who walks with her to the nurse at regular times. Only an adult can accompany her if she alerts someone that there is a you think a student buddy would help reassure you that she'll get there every time?

Then again, you reviewed low blood sugar with the teacher -- you TOLD her that being pale and confused with an unsteady gait is a symptom of trouble. Why do we expect our confused children to be able to speak up with a number like that????


Get the ball, Charlie Brown. Kick it HARD!!!!!

Meri said...

I'm sorry. :( Don't feel crappy. Tomorrow will be better. Today so far has been wonderful in D Land. A benefit from screwing up so badly yesterday, I could only go up from where I was.

Thanks for your support. It means the world to me. And you know what, you only love and care for your little girl. She knows it, God knows it. FORWARD! Guilt Guilt Bo Built Banana Fanna Fo Fuilt!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of Maddison's dangerous low while at school and glad she is okay. Just sent you a post (your last post) on the Dexcom. But wanted to add that we have noticed (and I believe it is in Walsh or Hanas's book) that after one or two days of perfect numbers, the pattern for us is that E. then goes down and will have a day or two of lows. It's as if the body adjusts to a new "glucostat" and for some reason after really good days (like two) she will rarely go up; just down. Don't know if Maddison has this pattern. The high days, I haven't noticed a pattern, except high days, basal adjust, then very high days, aggressive basal adjust, normal two days, then drop.