I just can't do it!

I just can't leave my kids home alone! Today my girls had two hours alone to manage before Aunt Christi picked them up for a fun day at the new Aquarium in town. TWO HOURS. Do you think they could get along for two hours? Normally my girls get along great. Leave them alone for two hours and apparently Hannah is stressed and Maddison becomes defiant, she doesn't want to listen when Hannah raises her voice. Maddison is very sensitive when you raise your voice. She always has been. It makes her jump into melt down mode in an instant. Maddison also has a REALLY bad habit of not hearing when spoken to, especially when she is watching Animal Planet. Imagine that. I can't blame the girl for being interested and tuning out the world around her. So at 10am I called to have Maddison check her blood sugar since she is 2 hours post prandial...she was 113 with .4 active which could send her down to a 50-60ish number. I asked Hannah to have her eat about 8c....and it was over from there ladies and gentleman!

Hannah being the pre-teen that she is, didn't have the patience to ask Maddison a third time to find 8c to keep her from going low. I know that Hannah is nervous of a possible impending low when she is left to manage them herself. So, she does what any nervous 12 year old would do. She barks out commands to Maddison and raises her voice, which in turn sends Maddison to tears. A few minutes later Hannah calls me back at work and I can hear Maddison freaking out in the back ground. She is crying and telling Hannah to stop yelling at her. Now she is completely irrational. Who is to say who "started it?" Of course there is no excuse for Maddison's childish behavior, or is there? Maybe she is dropping fast and is irrational on top of being pissed at her sister. Who knows. All I know is that I can't handle this Diabetes stress at home while I am at work. I can't tolerate the stressful phone calls when I am trying to work 30 miles away unable to guide them through the chaos. I just can't leave them alone right now at this stage, and I WILL not again. Hannah is too nervous and bossy, and Maddison is too irresponsible to step up to her Diabetes care. She is 8, not 12 people! I am sick and tired of explaining this to everyone. No one seems to understand why I can't just leave my kids at home while I work. Everyone seems to remind me that Hannah is 12 and can take care of herself just fine. Which is exactly right. HERSELF. She can take care of herself but add a Diabetic 8yr old sister to the mix and I just don't think they are ready. So I wish everyone with their parenting advice (WITHOUT DIABETIC KIDS) would just shut their trap and stop encouraging me to leave them home alone. Live a day in my house with Diabetes and then give me advice on how my kids can be left alone!

Hannah is 12, yes, I understand that....I expect some responsibility from both my kids. But I can't expect Hannah to be comfortable with Maddison's Diabetes when I am away either. Being comfortable is something that will come with time, and this isn't the time. This has been our first trial with giving them this responsibility. I'm torn because no one understands this very difficult situation I am in. Unless you are a Diabetes parent. Even Josh assumes they can be left alone without conflict, he also isn't the one taking the phone calls while he is at work. Some day soon, I know the girls will be able to get there. Hannah will mature and understand why Maddison reacts the way she does. She will also feel confident dealing with lows. By then, Maddison will probably just manage them herself. For now, we have tried unsuccessfully this Xmas vacation to grant them some Independence and expect them to manage a few hours. With all the other stress we having been dealing with in our house, now just isn't the time to give it try. I just can't take it. Thank goodness school is back on Monday.

Hannah just texted me with a silly picture of her and Maddison. She writes "I swear mom, this girl is Bi-polar,look at her now." They are all smiles with silly faces again, on their way to the aquarium for the day. -Sigh- I responded with "you have no idea the stress you two just put me through" and Hannah's response....."sorry Mom, luv ya"