Monday, January 5, 2009

Cognitevely Speaking

My brain isn't here. Working didn't start with a low as you might started with a 240 high... post workout. Driving to work this morning I was about to pull over because I was sure I was way to low to continue. Nope....240. Why do I feel so low if I'm 240? S-l-o-w-l-y I'm wondering if I read the meter wrong....did it really say 40? I feel like it could have said 24! Cognitively speaking, I'm not alright to drive. My number 240 says I should be, what the hell is going on? Do I pull over for a 240 when I'm not low just because I feel weird? Nothing is making sense today. Rechecked while stopped at a light, I'm 238 this time. Funny, I started to feel better when visually seeing the high number. Seeing the number pop up on my meter put my brain back on track. Just like seeing a low number makes you feel low when you didn't already. I hate that. Gotta love getting back into the work out routine. This is exactly why I have put it off so long. It isn't as easy as "just doing it" for those of us with Diabetes. It's a matter of re-balancing everything again. With workout routines my good eating habits naturally follow. The more I work out, the better food choices I make. I guess it's all or nothing for me. A better "diet" means less carb intake, about half my normal, which will mean metabolically speaking my basals will change dramatically. Tuna fish, almonds, protein fruit smoothies.....ahhhh. I skip the carby carbs and go for fruit as my main carb load. Now that is what I have been missing! I feel better already after day 1. (a bit of brain washing here!)Now I just have to figure out how to avoid the high during the workout. What worked for me before, obviously doesn't in 2009! Baby steps. It is all about baby steps to get it right. I'm exhausted just thinking about it already.

Problem #1, I didn't reduce my basal this morning after my workout as I know I should have....I simply forgot. A busy morning getting the kids back to school. But I also wasn't sure how MUCH I would have to reduce my basal, and for how long. I would have rather dealt with upping a low quickly rather than dosing for a high slowly. 3 hours later, I'm slapped with a 42. I didn't think I would go THAT low. I'm sitting at work trying to focus. Cognitively, I'm useless. I can't even gain my composure. I'm supposed to be working on month end for December, followed by year end. I need to get something done! I was in this same situation Friday and had to leave my work incomplete which I HATE doing. Cognitively, I'm totally useless after a low like this, especially after I plummeted from high to low. ICK. I stare at the computer screen. A co-worker comes to speak to me but I can't even respond with half an intelligent response. Just a smile.

Problem #2, My daily average has been higher since the stress and holidays took over. So, now I feel low in the 90's. I mean, really. Cognitively I feel like an idiot in the 90 range because of running higher so much lately. I can't find my words. I feel shaky like a caffeine high. I can't add 2+2, and I can't remember the simplest routine things at work. Man, I hate this re-adjusting. Do I eat a tiny something to bump myself back up to 120-130 so I feel better and can actually function? Or, do I suck it up and wait for the feeling to pass? Of course I try to suck it up, but I need to be productive too. I'm on a freakin deadline here people! I need to get this work done! This makes me think about when I *force* Maddison to "suck it up" for feeling low when she isn't. I always remind her that I know how she feels but that her body is "re-adjusting to normal or lower numbers. Poor girl, now I feel horribly guilty. Today I totally know how she feels and why she gets so frustrated to tears. I feel the same way today.

Thank goodness for spell check...I can't even tell if I spelled COGNITIVELY right. It looks wrong. I know I spelled it right, the spell check told me so....but cognitively everything is off today. I start to wonder if I am an early onset Alzheimer's patient. I mean really. It is that bad. (joking but seriously) These fluctuation suck, It makes me wonder how much of Maddison's grades in school actually reflect her abilities. range...high.....hanging near low for hours........I don't know how anyone makes it through school with Diabetes. Some lows you can bounce right back from. Some kick your ass and you aren't even that low. Some highs you think are lows. Some highs kick your ass. Some highs you had no idea. I assume some people are just more in tune and able to feel these changes, or maybe they just suck it up and don't complain like I do :) Cognitively speaking, it is time for me to call it an early night. Hopefully tomorrow I will find my other half a brain.

1 comment:

Scott K. Johnson said...

I SO hear you on this stuff.

Our minds are already complicated machines, then we go and (unintentionally) goof up the main fuel source! Giving it either way too much glucose, or not enough.

It's no wonder it plays tricks on us!

I am much the same in regards to exercising and eating better. It seems that when you make one healthy choice for yourself it kind of starts snowballing positivity into other areas. I like that!

Can you share how you make your smoothies? Ingredients, etc?