I've been singing a little jingle (literally) to myself since Maddison's office visit yesterday. It goes......6.9, 6.9 we-got-a-6.9!!! Maddison's A1c went down from 7.2 in October to 6.9%. I can't tell you how elated I am. Honestly, the past 3 months have been predictable and "easily" managed. I didnt have to work my ass off chasing numbers or patterns this time. I haven't had to adjust much at all. Maddison's blood sugars have simply fallen into one of the "not changing at the moment" patterns. In other words, we have been "lucky" for this past 3 months of "stability."
I sure don't forget the despair I was going through the entire first 3 months Maddison returned to school. For those first three months I did nothing but manipulate and change basals, sensitivity, ratios, and duration settings trying to get Maddison out of the 300's. It was 3 months of hell. Sleepless nights, confusion, anger, and total exhaustion was carried with me everyday when seeing nothing improving with her numbers. I felt horribly guilty and incapable of managing a child with Diabetes. Diabetes does this to us all too often. I seriously thought I would never gain control again. I couldn't see ever being predictable again. The last 3 months though, I have been blessed with relief from all the feelings of uncertainties. I have been confident, proud and just doing. Doing nothing. Not making changes, not driving myself crazy. I haven't needed to pay too much attention to just the normal random lows and highs Diabetes throws at you. Sometimes Diabetes allows us to just live life without the craziness. These "lucky" spells allow me to recover from the loss of sleep, feelings of defeat, anger and sadness that overcome me when Diabetes goes crazy. Thank goodness sometimes Diabetes gives us a chance to recover! I know the game of chasing numbers will visit us again. As soon as numbers settle down it all goes crazy......That's just what Diabetes is.
Maddison's Endo is the most caring and friendly woman I think we could ever ask for. She in genuine and concerned for her patients, even more so, for the emotional side of Diabetes. She makes a point to always ask how Maddison and I are both doing as far as our feelings regarding Diabetes. She talked with Maddison about feeling low when she isn't. She sympathized with her, and asked if she would like a new meter just to feel better. She gave us two new Freestyle lite meters for Maddison. One for home and one for school. We only needed refills on the Precision Xtra Ketone blood strips, and Dr D came back with a whole new Ketone meter with two boxes of strips! It was like a Type 1 Christmas celebration! The highlight of our Endo visit was Dr D being so proud of Maddison following through on her promise to try new pump sites. Maddison promised her last visit to try her arms. We have been using Maddison's arms for weeks, and she actually prefers her arms now. This gives her little hip area a much needed rest. Maddison picked out a prize from the toy closet for sticking to her promise. She chose a little baby doll and has carried her everywhere. Of course, the baby has Diabetes too. Maddison said her babies A1c was 6.9 just like hers. She said when she was diagnosed though the babies A1c was 42% which left me laughing out loud.
Maddison and I talked alot about A1c's on the long drive home because she told me her's was alot better than Grandpas. Weeks ago I talked to her about my Dads
A1c and how lucky we are to have better insulins today. I dont want her to "worry" about complications when she is an adult. I want her to know that new insulins and management keeps her alot safer than ever before. I dont want her to ever fear ending up where her Grandpa is today. So, I think she really learned the meaning behind an A1c. I hope to teach her that she should be proud of a "good" a1c, and she should know that sometimes we wont be proud. Sometimes Diabetes will give us an A1c that makes us cry, and it isn't our fault. Sometimes Diabetes goes crazy and all we can do is our best to figure it out again. Sometimes our best isn't enough, and sometimes we wont have it in us to try our best any longer. I want her to know that any number Diabetes gives us is okay as long as we promise to always do our best for the time being. I know that she really understands that. I just hope this understanding will always be carried with her. Yay for 6.9....now I'm sure her numbers will hit the fan. You would think we would learn not to say ANYTHING about numbers!
Moving my blog again
5 years ago