I'm pretty much done with 2010. Yep..I'd like this year to be over now, PLEASE?
I dont want to face the emotions that are coming this Christmas Season.
Last year, in late 2009 I looked ahead towards the new coming year. I swore to myself 2010 would hold bigger and better things. I had a family plan for 2010 to lessen stress, spend more time with those that mean the most to us, and meet some personal goals. Just alot of little things I was determined to improve in our lives. Yes, 2009 was a decent year. We had some struggles with Maddison and her Diabetes, (faking lows to get out of class) school stress, my Dad was sick alot, insurance issues. Not the best year. Not very productive either. Pretty uneventful actually, but decent nonetheless.
And then came December 2009.
12-12-2009, my Mom turned 59!! We celebrated the traditional way with family gathering for dinner, decorating Mom and Dads Christmas Tree, and spending the night watching Christmas movies while we decked the halls! Dad was the usual. He pretended to be Mr Bah-Humbug, although we all know he really enjoys Christmas again since his grandkids were born! Silly Dad! We could see right through you!
December will always SUCK in my mind....and here is why....
The next afternoon my Mom called. Dad needed to go to the ER. He had been vomiting for hours. Vomiting usually meant Dad had a looming infection from his Peritoneal Dialysis. Or, he was heading towards DKA.
As usual, my Mom called me back once my Dad was taken from the ER and admitted to a room upstairs. By this time it was late in the evening and Mom assured me Dad was okay. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just another hospital admission for Diabetes gone crazy she said. It didnt seem Dad had an infection. No real explanation for his illness. So, I went to bed and planned on stopping at the hospital in the morning on my way to work. It was the first time I didnt rush to the hospital to sit with Mom and check in on my Dad. I felt terribly guilty.
So, the next morning my Mom called in a panic. They had finally just told her my Dads blood sugar when admitted to the ER was over 1300. In an instant I was out the door and on my way. Still no infection found. What the hell was going on?! No infection?! What is the problem then?
A heart attack. They finally determined my Dad had a "minor" heart attack, which sent his blood sugar soaring to astronomical levels. Which caused DKA.
It was all downhill from there. 2009 was officially shot to shit December of last year. Ohhh how I wish December 2009 and the entire year of 2010 could be a BIG-FAT-RE-DO!!!!!!
So, ya...2010....IM DONE!! GOOD RIDDANCE!! 2010 has been the WORST YEAR EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HEARTACHE!!! BECAUSE.....Dad had a Quintuple Bypass on 12-29-2009 which meant we spent 14 hour days sitting in CCU/ICU through the NEW YEAR 2010 "helping" my Dad recover. By New years Eve Dad was impressing the hospital staff with his drive to get the hell out of that hospital. He walked when they said walk. Coughed when they said cough, and did everything he could to go home by Day 4 post surgery as planned. New Years Eve I sat with my Mom in Dads hospital room talking about how 2010 was going to be so great, because if Dad could overcome THIS then I had some serious things **I** needed to work towards for the new year. I was so proud of my Dad. Amazed at his strength. Amazed at his determination.
Then came New Years Day.
Post OP Day 4
The worst day
OFF THE VENT!!
Beginning of the END
Above I leave links to posts I wrote last year, so you can see why I despise 2010. So you can read why I am the blogger I am. So you can see how 2010 changed the person I am. So you can understand my hatred of this disease. This blog may not be the happiest most encouraging blog around, but its honest.
2010 also held alot of other heartache besides the grief of what my Father went through....
A week after Easter Maddison's new puppy drown in our pool. How do you tell your children THAT when they come home from school?
In May we recieved notice our mortgage company denied our home loan modification...now what?
In June/July Id hit rock bottom. Greiving I guess. Self destruction. I had become someone I'm not.
In July we questioned divorce and seperated.
In August our beloved Diego died, we had just found out two weeks before that he had Lymphoma.
I had Thyroid surgery the week after. For a possible cancerous mass.
In October our "perfect" home of ten years sold to auction without notice. So much for them working on a "new modification plan". We were out in 2 weeks.
Which bring us to November.....
STARTING OVER. AGAIN. It seems every year since Maddison's diagnosis we have started over for one reason or another. But right now, Im HAPPY where we are. Sure, we will be having our first Christmas in 10 years in a home that is like a stranger....but, we are starting over. We are healthy. We are together. Life is back on track. 2011 will be a new year. So, can we just FFWD past December please? Good riddance to 2010!!
Moving my blog again
10 years ago