Bronchoscopy

This roller coaster has no end in sight. Every step forward leaves us taking 3 steps back. I came to the hospital this morning so hopeful. I was anxious to see Dad still awake and more aware. He wasn't. They did the bronchoscopy before I made it here, which meant Dad was sedated. I was so angry at myself for not making it before he went back under. The chest xray shows bilateral severe pneumonia and the Bronch removed enormous amounts of puss. Gross, I know, but thats reality.

I called a meeting with the nursing supervisor after his day nurse told us Dad needs "to try harder." (when he was trying to cough up stuff earlier) We feel they dont understand his mental status is keeping him from "trying." The nursing supervisor assured us they understand the severity of his ALOC. She assured us that they will let us know ahead of time (if possible) if there is nothing more they can do. I think thats what we have been needing to hear. Or least what I've been needing to hear. I need to see things coming. I've been thinking they aren't telling us his prognosis is grim. I feel better knowing we arent in the dark. I guess this is just a long road.

I wanted the nursing supervisor to know it was a kick in the face when Dad's shitty nurse said he isnt trying. I hope she talks to that evil nurse and lets her know that was the most insensitive comment she EVER could have said at this moment. Somehow, we feel so much better just having called a meeting to talk about whats going on. We no longer feel in the dark.

Mom and I almost stood our ground against Hemodialysis today. Somehow, they talked us back into believing Hemo isnt the root of all evil right now. I wish I stood my ground and insisted we go peritoneal!!! An hour after Hemo started Dad went downhill. His heart rate dropped and he stopped breathing. He has been re-intubated and stabilized.

The need to re-intubate isn't the end of the road. They assure us. Its the start of a new battle. Knowing this is just a setback (not a grim prognosis) we are stronger mentally and prepared to continue the fight. Minute by minute.