May

I can't believe its May already! I'm in total freak out mode! Mainly I'm freaked out about my Hannah going to HIGH SCHOOL next year! Need I say more? For some reason, Hannah going to high school also makes me feel OLD. Like, I'm having a midlife crisis old! I know I'm not even 33 yet, but man, am I feeling old!

You know how one day you look in the mirror and think "OMG, who the hell is that?" Well, that's where I'm at lately. I LOOK old. Old and tired. I know Diabetes plays a big part of me looking so old! We all know Diabetes = no continuous sleep at night. I can SEE it catching up with me lately since Maddison hasn't really had a predictable night for months. Tired is normal for me.....but FEELING OLD.....that's a new one.

Maddison's numbers have been ((KNOCK ON WOOD)) fantabulous during the daytime with great predictability. Most nights she does well too, but I'm still not sure she is safe from going too low....Ive been watching night time basals for months now and still have yet to find a "safe" number to leave her at so I can sleep a good stretch without worry. Every night is different it seems, which brings me to the next MAY issue that I'm freaking out about.....SWIM TEAM!

Ohhhhhhhh swim team!!!! Signing Maddison up for the swim team is saying GOODBYE to the last few weeks of fantabulous blood sugar numbers and HELLO to lows and highs. There is just no way around it. Signing up for swim team is inviting CHAOS back into my days and nights. Maddison will be training Monday through Thursday with competitions on Saturdays. I can already see myself nervously watching pool side while Maddison swims her heart out. Other parents are gonna think I'm a freak! I'm sure the those first few weeks of training I will be clinging to the edge of the pool watching for signs of a low like a paranoid weirdo. I'll be a nervous wreck, not to mention Maddison trains at 6pm......right after dinner and bedtime shortly after! How will I sleep all summer?

Summer and swimming has always proven to throw me for a loop, even without a competitive swim team. Typically, my kids swim twice a day in the summer if not HOURS a day. Swimming all day (our pump isn't water proof) means I have to reconnect Maddie's pump ever so often to give her insulin. But how often? Is Maddison just going to be relaxing in the water or is she playing Mermaids and Pirates, zooming around in the depths of the pool? If she swims right after eating (with insulin on board (IOB)) does she need some Gatorade to keep from going low? Active insulin while being super active = scary crashing lows. Will she feel it when her little heart is pounding from the excersize anyway? Maybe we just need extra protein? Less bolus? Half a bolus? NO bolus? Will her site fall off AGAIN today? I hate seeing her swollen skin where super adhesives keep her site stuck in the summer. UGH. Swimming is so much damn work with an insulin pump!

Last year Maddison had lows right after swimming, then highs 3-5 hours later. Then lows again 8-12 hours after swimming. I couldn't figure anything out because swimming also equals a hellacious appetite! Continuous eating! Was it the ratio or the basal that caused this low or high? Missed basal while disconnected? Maybe the sensitivity factor. Who the hell knows? I just managed each day as the numbers came. Nothing was predictable the entire summer it seemed! Sure, if Maddison swam exactly the same way each day I could have figured it out. I even logged the duration AND intensity of the swimming EVERY SINGLE DAY. How crazy is it that I tracked my kids every move in the summer and never learned a damn thing!!?? Maddison always has the highest A1c's in the summer because I cant figure out a damn thing with all the activity, eating and lack of structure! Sleep in? YEP! Stay up late? YEP! Run wild in the neighborhood for hours with all the neighbor kids? YEP! Summer IS a ton of fun....but I'm never ready to say goodbye to predictability. I'm not sure if I'm more freaked out about high school or swimming. How sad is that?

I've had nothing but lows lows lows lately. I'm about to slap the CGM back on, but I need the sensors for Maddison's summer ahead! I'm on an 9 week stretch of actually sticking to my normal morning workouts (I go into work an hour later now to fit it in!) so my metabolism must be kicking back into gear. I'm back down to just 5 units of basal a day like when I used to be at my goal weight and worked out daily. Just 5 units of basal and I'm still having lows! Speaking of my mid life crisis feelings....Being in my 30's now the extra mush areas don't come off as easily as they used to. ICK. Darn Christmas cookies!

May has brought about too many school projects. Too many parties and too much stress for me! Hannah starts two different sand volleyball leagues the end of this month. Did you know it will soon be over 100 degrees every day and up to 118 by July? YEP. 2 on 2 sand Volleyball in AZ. Its pure torture. Hannah is also starting a week long volleyball camp to prep for the high school team. I think all I do all summer is taxi my kids around. Talk about a difference from how I lived as a kid. May is quite a month. The summer is always quite an experience. No wonder the summer goes too darn fast!