Sunday, May 16, 2010

A Cure

Dream a little dream about Life After A Cure. To wrap up Diabetes Blog Week, let’s pretend a cure has been found. We are all given a tiny little pill to swallow and *poof* our pancreases are back in working order. No side effects. No more insulin resistance. No more diabetes. Tell us what your life is now like. Or take us through your first day celebrating life without the Big D. Blog about how you imagine you would feel if you no longer were a Person With Diabetes.

OK, I'm crying like a baby. After the MOST difficult swimming day/night yesterday, I'm a freaking MESS. I can't gather my emotions. I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm scared. That post is to follow, a Cure? This really hurts my heart right about now. I want SO badly to stop this crazy disease. SO BADLY. Today more than ever. Let me begin to imagine how "easy" and carefree life would again be with a CURE.....

Oh my Sweet Maddison....I would never again tell you to stop swimming. NEVER AGAIN. You could swim your heart out. No glucose tabs. No juice. No finger pokes. I'd sit and watch you swim for hours, WITHOUT worry in my heart. I'd sleep through the night, not fearing you'd have a seizure or never wake up come morning. I'd no longer dread birthday parties, jumpies or trampolines. I'd love them as every parent should. You'd get to go to sleep overs with your friends without a second thought. You'd never come inside after running with your friends because you feel sick when a low sends you crashing to the ground. You'd just play like all the rest. Without lows.

Never again would a simple cold bring so much pain and hurting to your body. No more 200's, 300's or HI's just because your body cant fight illness like everyone else. No more site changes in the middle of the night. No more vomiting because ketones take over. No more crying after you've had one of those days that you are tired of it all. No more swollen eyes for me when I cry all night FOR YOU. No more climbing in bed because your blood sugars have been running high and you have no energy left after school.

We'd have the biggest party EVER. We would dance. You could eat anything you wanted, without having to ask me first. No more pump attached to your body. No more stares from curious eyes. No more mean comments from strangers. I'd never again set an alarm for every hour or two in the night or wee hours of morning. I'd be worry free. Free from the pain in my heart that haunts me when I think about the possibility of complications in your future. Free from the guilt I feel when something goes wrong. A Cure? Life would be carefree again, and my heart would again be whole.


Meri said...

I know it must be even harder for actually know first hand what she goes through. (((HUGS))) Man, if there is a cure, this is going to be one epic party going on around the world!

Wendy said...

This week has been an incredible experience for me.

I can't explain it. Like we're not alone -- even though I already know we aren''s just been emotional.

Today has been so hard for me.

I've cried today in a way I haven't cried for so long.

It's almost midnight. Cinderella can't stay at the ball.

Tomorrow is looming.


Tracy said...

I would LOVE to let the kids all swim without worry! And sleep through the night? I wonder what that would feel like!

I hope someday we can find out!

connie said...

I hope that someday we will know what it feels like to no longer live with diabetes...

I can hardly imagine it, but it would be a beautiful thing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing in this week - as late as I am at catching up on your posts. I'm glad to have gotten to know you a little through your words and pictures.