Sunday, May 16, 2010

Feeling It

Ok, big breath. Big realization. I'm hoping I'm mostly over my drama of emotions related to swimming, a cure and every other topic that blogging Diabetes week has brought to surface. I think I'm done crying now. I can really drown myself in the emotions! It took me some time to realize why I'm so dang emotional and teary eyed this week. (Besides STILL waiting for lab results) D blogging week has left me feeling so many different emotions all bundled into one! (on top of PMS which always makes me crazy) I was continually enlightened all week when reading other posts on D blogging week. Uplifted, encouraged, I never imagined I could feel so surrounded by others that live this very same life! I've had to think ALOT about Diabetes this week. I've read ALOT about so many others lives with this disease. Bitter sweet. Very bittersweet.

I must say, what really triggered my emotions was "Diabetes snapshots" on day 6 of blog week. SEEING Diabetes as a just did me in. Traci, when I saw this picture of Zane @ diagnosis I lost it. Really. All the emotions of Diabetes that we bury as parents came bursting out. I dont know how you do it! I don't know how Moms handle D in such young children! You are all AMAZINGLY strong women!! I cannot tell you how many times I think about how fortunate we are that Maddison was diagnosed older, at age 6 with Diabetes. We also were blessed to avoid DKA and catch Diabetes early. I can't imagine what someone goes through hearing your babies were in DKA, so close to death. My heart aches for every child with Diabetes. The younger ones....the tiny ones..... It sickens me. I cant imagine Diabetes in toddlers or babies, I just CANT.

And then Chasiti....your picture of Alivia's diagnosis...I can see she's strapped on an ambulance stretcher arriving in the ER. My heart just shattered.
I hear the stories all the time. Addy's diagnosis story still haunts me too. SEEING these pictures and knowing how that day felt for both you as the parents and the child....its been too much for me to take in without a serious purge of pent up emotions. So, purge I did. I've cried alot since Diabetes snapshots on Saturday. I've cried for all the kids with Diabetes. All the Moms, the Dads, the Sisters and Brothers, the families. We all know Diabetes effects the whole family. I've cried for myself. For the adults. For my Maddison. For my Dad. Oh, how Diabetes week has resurfaced the loss of my Dad. I've cried it all out, and now I feel better, time to move on. Thank you KARENfor bringing us D blog week!


Wendy said...

Oh, man...girl I HAVE BEEN FEELING IT!

Emotions, emotions everywhere.
Over here and over there
Stop them please before I crack
Cuz I have more sugars to...check

Ok. Doesn't quite rhyme.

But...since when does DIABETES play by the rules anyway?

Tracy said...

I CRY every time I look at Zane's pics too! It never gets easier to see my tiny little man so sick.

Lots of crying this week for me too. It is so good to know I am not alone and I have all of you for support!

Hallie said...

Dx pics are the worst. THere is a "Look". They all have it. And we all think, "How did I miss this?!?" It makes me sick. I like look at the pics from NOW much better.

connie said...

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me too. So many feelings in such a short time, one week of d-blog mania and I am feeling spent :)

I am so grateful that we did this, it was really inspiring and amazing to read everyones posts and know that we all are in it together.