Thursday, April 1, 2010

Spike, Crash, Spike CRASH

I've had it with Diabetes today. The CGM is showing me nothing but MOUNTAINS. Spikes and drops. Nothing stable. I'm either flying high or crashing to the ground. What the heck is going on? I'm so done, I can't even explain how your body feels going through this crazy roller coaster ride. Drained. I guess the right word is drained. Exhausted. Tired. Something like that. I'm pretty pissed off too. Both at Diabetes and everything around me. Thats what wild numbers will do! I feel the highs mostly in my head. Confused. Slow. Headaches. I just can't think straight. My eyes are burning. I feel the lows like I'm falling from a tall building. Imagine whats really happening to my body with these spikes and crashes. ICK. This is crazy!!

See those lines on the CGM? Once upon a time, they used to be flat for me. Stable. So much so, that I thought the CGM wasn't working for me. Finger pokes verified I really did remain that stable, even right after eating. I was SO lucky. The last two days have been HELL with my numbers. I haven't changed ANYTHING. I still eat the same foods. I still have the same basals and ratios. I dont know if I'm getting sick, or if I feel sick from the spikes and drops. Right now I want to give up and crawl in bed. I dont want to deal with this invading my day. I kid you not, the CGM shows nothing but rolling hills. Mountains really. Spiking 100pts or more. Dropping within 30 minutes. ALL DAY. I'm done with eating today, I'm skipping dinner. I'm not eating tomorrow either. I decided I will have to starve myself to see whats happening. (yeah right!) I dont want to deal with this anymore.

See the 88 with two down arrows? OUCH. I had just peaked over 200 and then CRASHED within 30 minutes. No wonder I feel like crap lately. For weeks. I had NO IDEA. I wonder when this started? I wonder how to stop it? I started a pre-bolus yesterday, nothing changed. How do you slowly make changes when you feel like hell and just want this to stop? Not only is this effecting my physical feelings, its effecting ME. I'm angry. I'm worried. What if this is how my Diabetes is going to be from now on? What if I cant figure it out? What if genetically speaking I'm screwed? I used to be pretty damn confident managing this disease. Suddenly, I'm freaked out.

I feel like my body is deceiving me. I've been working out and eating much better....and this is what I get? I hardly even eat carbs! If I do, they come from fruits! I used to not even have to bolus for fruit! Everything I eat is very low glycemic. So why am I spiking like this!?? If this continues, I might just need to find a place in the looney bin.


Wendy said...

I just want to hug you. I'm so sorry it's kicking your A$$ right now.

I see those peaks and valleys and it just re-affirms for me how amazing you are. Those numbers don't define you...but you're ability to respond to them and balance everything on your plate makes you one incredible mom.

phonelady said...

wow I hope you feel better soon dear that has got to be madening .

Meri said...

If there is anything I have learned from my years as a is that no trends last forever. Changes like this are upsetting, (my heart hurts for you!) But you WILL figure it out! Just a bump in the road. Chin up are going to rock this! Fight! Fight! Fight! Kick D's butt!

Karen said...

i know exactly how frustrating this can be! I'm going though it right now too! I correct a high, it gets better, next thing I know...I'm low! ugh!
I hope everything gets better and you get your energy back soon!