Sunday, April 4, 2010


Coloring Easter eggs last night was sad for me, because Hannah wasn't here. She went to the movies with her girls....being 13, of course she wasn't interested in coloring eggs, she wanted to spend time with her friends. I understand that, but it still makes me sad! I want to bring back my little Hannah with piggy tails!

All was good, Maddison and I had fun coloring eggs anyway. This morning made up for missing Hannah last night though. Hannah, Maddison and I spent some great time together in the kitchen preparing our dinner Easter yummies. Us girls prepped, cooked and baked together for a couple of hours with music playing (at a teen volume!) and had some great fun with laughter and lots of warm fuzzy feelings :) I still miss my Hannah with piggy tails though! I kept thinking today how I still wanted to dress her up in a fancy Easter dress like when she was little, LOL.

As expected, today was a very emotional day being a holiday (the first) without my Dad. When my Mom got here I could tell she had been crying. I already had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes seeing her walk in the door all alone, so as soon as our eyes met we cried. My mom cried alot. I cried alot. It felt very strange. Such a void. Such sadness. Emptiness. We both knew exactly how each other felt at that moment without saying a thing. My heart aches for my Mom today. I just couldn't believe that for the first time ever my Mom came to Easter by herself. Without my Dad. I just felt so wrong. The whole day was incredibly lonely. Quiet. Sad.

On a better note, the weather was G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!!! PERFECT! We had a ton of fun watching baby niece Sammi on her first really fun Easter. She hunted for Easter eggs with Maddison. It made me miss my little Hannah again! I was just emotional today I guess, and having been low for the last 2 days continually I'm already a bit run down anyway! Despite the emptiness in our hearts today, it was a great Easter surrounded by the love of family.


Wendy said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE that pic of your (big girl - OMGsh!!!!! She's growing up so fast...sniff....sniff...) and your little girl (SUCH A DOLL!!!).

Your description of rocking out in the kitchen is something I really look forward to one day. My girls love to "help" me, but the moments you had with your girls gave me warm fuzzies too...sigh...

I wish we could stop the time.

Hugs to your family...SAMMI is so sweet!!!!!! I can only imagine the emotions of the day, but happy to hear that you guys made some memories.

phonelady said...

Wow yes your girls are beautiful and they are growing up so fast and yes the holidays are very emotional when you lose someone so close to you .

Meri said...

I've noticed a change in our dynamic this year too. :( I called my oldest from the other room to help dye eggs...he came in, peeled and ate a hard boiled egg, and left back to the other side of the house. :(

I'm glad you had some wonderful moments. :)