I knew Maddies eye exam would lead me to total frustration and feelings of terrible guilt. Long exam cut short, Maddison's vision is fine according to all the charts. OH YES HE DID ask the questions that I knew would send my heart palpitating....
Doctor: "How is Maddison's Diabetes control?"
"Good" I said.
Doctor: "What was her last a1c?"
"6.9" I said.
Doctor: "Ahhhhhh.....wellllll......that's a little HIGH he said. They really don't want A1c's up over 7%"
OH YES, HE DID go there.
And.....my blood boils. This guy has NO idea. No idea. So, I sit quietly as he explains how Diabetes affects the eyes. All I could do was think about my Dad. Then of course my thoughts turned back to Maddison and the guilt for every single out of range number came rushing in. I KNOW we are doing a GREAT job managing Maddison's Diabetes. BUT, I didnt feel like we were as the doctor rambled on about needing to "tighten up blood sugars" to help Maddison's eyes avoid the rath of fluctuating blood sugars. I left that office feeling like a total failure, feeling like Maddison's "double vision" is all a result from high blood sugars afflicted by a mom who can't "tighten up" her daughters blood sugar control. -Sigh-
OH YES, he DID go there....and NO, I wasn't even going to explain to him about T1 and children. I just listened. Then silently cried all the way home while Maddison complained that her blurry vision is for real. Damn you Diabetes.
Moving my blog again
3 years ago