Monday, July 27, 2009

Why all of a sudden? A bunch of random thoughts .

Tonight Maddison needed a site change. The last few times have been tough with her complaining, refusing and being a bit tearful. Why the sudden fear of needles? Tonight Maddison cried that she is tired of having Diabetes, and wants it to go away. Of course she's been running too high since the afternoon, which I'm sure brings about the yucky feelings even more so. All I could do was give Maddie a hug and then tell her I agree and understand. I really do understand. I think my own Diabetes makes it somehow easier for Maddison to accept. Honestly, days like today I'm "happy" I have Diabetes right along with her.

Last night was day 2 of Midnight-2am basal increases for Maddison. I wish I could say that I saw progress, but a late night swim at 10pm interfered. Swim = hunger. Hunger = snack. A snack too late at night. A sure way to induce a high for Maddison. Numbers have been great lately (besides 12a-5am) so snack time it was! A nice 142 at midnight. 285 at 2am, then 419 at 4am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That can't be right! Laying in the bed unattached was Maddison's pump. How it came disconnected is beyond me. LUCKY I woke up to recheck that 2am correction...and people wonder why I still wake up so many times at night to check numbers! I just CANT have Maddison start the day high. I just can't. I also just can't leave her high over night when she'll sit around at some crazy number for hours. Not my idea of maintaining her health in the long run.

Stomach pain. Maddison is back to having stomach pain every day. So much for the belief of stress induced stomach issues. There isnt any stress here in the Summer!I'm calling the Endo in the morning for a new lab script. Our next appointment is in two weeks anyway. I'm not waiting until September's scheduled lab draw. If we rule out the big Celiac word, then I'll proceed to the PCP if the stomach pain persists. YIKES.

Lego Land. Friday morning we leave for San Diego. Last minute trip to enjoy the beach a few days and Lego Land! I'm so excited for the girls! Stressed about leaving our army of pets, but excited.

School!!!!! August 10th. I'm SO not ready! Its still too hot. We still haven't done any shopping. Still don't have the supply list. Still dont have a lunch plan. I want to change the way Maddison is bolused for lunch. She currently goes in to check before lunch, gets a bolus for HALF the carbs and then returns with her eaten/uneaten lunch for the remainder bolus if any. I HATE that she has to go BACK for the remainder bolus. #1 because I prefer to pre-bolus every meal....giving HALF after eating drives me nuts. #2 Maddison misses more free recess time having to go back to the nurse for carb counting. In a perfect world Maddison would eat every bite of lunch and we could just bolus it all right away. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm not sure what the answer is. Its just never easy with Diabetes at school is it? Dual wave bolus maybe? I dont know. I'm overwhelmed trying to find a better answer.

WORK!! In the summer I work just 16 hours a week, the two days that the husband has off work and stays home with the kids. Currently our office has lost 6 Physician billing contracts which means I have to FIND work to do even with reduced hours. SCARY. As school starts I will need to work my regular 25hrs a week, and right now, they cant offer me any additional hours. SCARY. Ideally, I'm trying to find another at home medical billing job. Hard to find. VERY hard to find.

QUAILS! Our Quail chicks are growing fast! They have just started to grow the wing and tail feathers! They are so darn cute, but I'm worried they like us a bit too much!

Night 3. Tonight is night 3 of basal changes. PLEASE let me see some kind of improvement! I'm guessing it will take another few days. Then we will be on vacation which means sugars are likely to be wonky anyway. Then school will start. So, everything will change again anyway with wake/sleep patterns! Looks like I will be Chasing overnight numbers for quite awhile. I shudder to think of school starting. That means not only night time numbers will be off, but daytime too. That's when I start to lose it! :) Give me one good time of day and I stay sane. Throw crazy numbers EVERYWHERE and I really get irritated! Wish me luck tonight! Its basal testing night! The planned checks are Midnight, 1am, 2am and 3am. Can you say Starbucks Double shot esspresso for the morning?

2 comments:

mom2wendy said...

My prayers are with you. All I can offer is hugs amd hope. I am happy that the little chicks are doing well under Maddison's care. If I only had a wand.....I would make Maddison's wish come true....yours too.

Wendy said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mind would be racing too...maybe the weekend away and quality family time will help you gain some insight.

In the meantime, I'll be praying for you. ((HUGS))