Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The guessing game

Maddison has recovered from her bout with a yucky cold. Her numbers have recovered too and are more predictable from noon until 6pm but screwy in the morning and at night when sleeping! One morning she was low (64) at her morning check after recess. The next two days she was too high (220's) with the same damn breakfast. So, I am left to ask Maddison what she did for recess that day. "Did you run and chase boys all recess?" "Did you just sit and play in the sand?" Hmmm. Colder weather? So now I might be needing to change something in the mornings too. I am still trying to get nighttime right!

After illness, Maddison's numbers are harder to control, and I adjust her pump settings accordingly, but they never go back to what they were before. So, I am STILL working on the 3am lows too! This morning Maddison was 76 at 4am. Not that low, but too low for sleeping with Diabetes. I slept past the alarm blaring since 3am to check her. I have been guessing on changes to make, because nothing I tried for weeks helped. I hate this guessing game. It is the worst part of Diabetes. Trying and trying for weeks to get something right. One basal adjustment (we are pumping) screws up another time of day. Then you have to switch it back, try something else. A week goes by. Then something else needs to be adjusted. And guess what? Tomorrow is the last day of school for 2 1/2 weeks. That means nothing will make sense for Christmas vacation. Nothing will be predictable with sleeping in, staying up late, excitement, different meal times, different foods, playing outside all day, running around the house instead of sitting at a desk all day........ Oh geez! I was so determined to get these whacky numbers stabilized. HA! In the next two weeks after getting vacation numbers good, it will be back to school and time to change again!

You know, I just want to say to you Diabetes, that I DO NOT think this guessing game is much fun. I am one that likes to be in control. To me, there is a reason for everything, and now I see with you, sometimes there just isn't a reason and certainly not a clear answer. I am tired of my Maddison being the center of the game, the Guinea pig. I am tired of you making me feel incapable of figuring this out. But guess what? Being a Pancreas for a 7yr old growing, playing, energetic girl is impossible some days to get right. But I am still working on better numbers! I know you are in cahoots with a thing called metabolism. I know you are out of control with the growth hormones at night and that you like to crash in the early morning hours when you think I won't catch you. But I am here, fighting you every day. I may be tired, and you might have me confused for these past few weeks. But in the next few posts you will be defeated. I will figure you out, even if it is only for Christmas vacation. How's that for my own pep talk? LOL

No comments: