Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I lied

So, I guess I lied. A few posts back I said my Diabetes was “almost always” cooperative and all I had to do was make some adjustments and “things just worked out fine.” You’d think by now I would have learned NOT to say these things, for Diabetes listens and comes back to make us eat our words, seemingly overnight!

Lows, lows, lows. I’ve been having nothing but lows. I’m so tired of eating sugary candy while shaking in confusion. I could just scream. I’ve changed basals. I’ve changed ratios. I took away pre-bolusing. I’ve tried square wave boluses. I’ve tried increasing my protein, but, I still go low. Nothing but lows since we came back from CO. I think I left my old body there! So, I lied. Today I AM pissed off at the numbers! For the first time in a LONG time, its MY numbers that are ticking me off!

I’m also pissed with Maddison’s numbers! Sorry, scratch the last post where I said I wasn’t! As of last night, I AM! Daytime numbers for Maddie at school are pretty good actually. AFTER school still throws in a 250 or so, which is VERY odd for that time of day. I did however, beat up the post dinner number with yet another ratio change, and she ended up at 125 going to bed! FINALLY!!! I THOUGHT last night would be the night I could clearly see how basals are doing. I expected her to rise MAYBE 30pts in the next few hours. I was SO excited thinking I would get to sleep a straight 3-4 hours. NOPE! An hour later Maddison was 180. I corrected that knowing what was coming. 263 two hours later, followed by 286 even though a correction was given! BLECH! I changed her nighttime sensitivity, but I also need to get on those basals! AGAIN!!

These highs are pushing my sleep deprived buttons! I just want my girl to be stable at night damn it! Is that really too much to ask!!?? I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it a thousand more times...I WONDER if Endo’s know how often we change insulin dosing? Have they any idea? Do they know how constantly changing children’s insulin needs really are?

Ahhhh…and the best part? Spring break starts MONDAY!!! So, what does that mean?? That means even if by some miracle I get things figured out TODAY....Spring Break will throw it all off anyway!!!!! Yes, it sure will! I’m seeing that there isn’t any sleep in my near future. I’ll be chasing numbers at least until school starts again AFTER Spring break. –Sigh- I know, I should know by now, this is how D goes. It never fails to amaze me when we go through these terrible, horrible, long spells of constantly changing needs. Maybe some day I’ll stop complaining about it. But, for today, I’m tired dang it!

Lets find a new name for Diabetes. How about Paininmomsass disease? Maybe constantlychanginginsulinneeds disease? How about anti-insulinwilldriveyoubonkers disease? Youneverknowwhatthedayholds disease? Hmmmm.....thats sounds better than DIABETES. I'm gonna get you figured out soon Diabetes, just you wait!


Heidi / Jack's Pack said...

I love the new names! They all work!

Some times I really wonder whether endos really know what it's like to live with this disease and how often we must tweak things.

Sorry you're battling both your numbers and Maddison's! Here's to better numbers and a great spring break!!!


Donna said...

Paininmomsass Disease!! LOVE IT! I am calling it that from now on! =)
I know - we are there too right now with the numbers game.
I feel your pain! Hang in there - both of you!!!

phonelady said...

God I so know those feelings !!! LOl I like all the names you gave it .

Hallie said...

I love the names, too! Much more descriptive!

I know - IT SUCKS!! Ave's night numbers have no pattern, no rhyme or reason... so we rarely get much sleep. I can't remember the last time I could trust the numbers. Sometimes she climbs... and sometimes she'll go from 300 to 85 in few short hours. How can you not check with that?!?

Hang in there. I'll think of you when I'm up checking at night and maybe you'll feel the love from afar and it will make you smile!

And I hope you get your numbers under control, too. I cant imagine juggling 2 sets of numbers! I'd probably treat the low for the one that's high and bolus the one that's low!


Meri said...

:p~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disease.

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...


Wendy said...

Much love and hugs to you, Kel. I was so excited when I read that last post, but I totally get how quickly those "good days" can change. You're doing a fantastic job and I'm honored to call you my friend!!!

Reyna said... LOVE the new names they all work and NO the endo's have NO idea the constant changes and the CRAZINESS of our lives. The ONLY people that can possible GET it are those living it. It is ridiculous at best.

I hope your lows are better today...that definitely cannot be helping things. xoxo

Jill said...

I soooo feel your frustrations :( Love the new names!!! They all work!

Hope the numbers get better for you all :)