Saturday, August 28, 2010

My own bed

Words just cannot express how happy I am to have my surgery over with! Waiting with wonder and worry just kills me. My crazy mind always convinces me that whatever new cyst/mass is being removed is definitely malignant. I hate that. No amount of prayers or optimism shakes the cancer scare from my mind. Its terrible! Then by the time the surgery day approaches Im 100% sure everything is fine and I go in without a worry in the world. (except blood sugars) Its weird. I drive myself bonkers! LOL

I entered the hospital yesterday without worry. Calm, cool and with the mindset that I even had my blood sugar totally under control. No nerves, just the desire to get this done! I woke up with a sugar of 102 so I had to disconnect my pump for awhile. I flat lined at 120 from 5am until 9am when I started to go down. Disconnected the pump again, and set a temp basal for 80%. Flat lines on the CGM UNTIL we got to the hospital! :)

While waiting in the Pre-op waiting room my entire world was about to be shaken....I had no idea what was to come....what happened next, I REALLY didnt need at this point! I REALLY lost it for a few minutes. From out of nowhere emotions overwhelmed me as soon as I saw his face....

The Surgeon!! The Surgeon who performed my Dads Triple bypass walked within inches of me. INCHES. I instantly had chills and my heart skipped a beat. I felt my face go pale and I couldn't respond to the questions I was being asked. The surgeon that spitefully turned off my Dads sedation as we fought for Hospice!! Do you remember reading that blog post!!?? HIM!! It was him right beside me, consulting a family in waiting!! The instant he walked away the tears came. I sobbed. So many terrible and painful memories of those 25 days of hell in ICU with my Dad. I was heartbroken! What are the chances I see HIM? Of all the freaking Doctors and Surgeons in this huge city of Phoenix!!?? I see him? UGH. My poor hubby didnt know what to say as I sat crying my heart out. It was terrible!

Anyway, I ended up flat lining in the 120's again as I was being prepared for surgery. I settled in on a 50% basal rate. I entered surgery at 121 and came out 2 hours later at 148. PERFECT! The surgeon didnt even have to set a drain on my Thyroid so I got to come home instead of staying overnight for 24hr observation. Home in my own bed I couldnt be happier!

My neck muscles are mostly sore from being propped back in an awkward position for 2hours. Im pretty pain tolerant, and did well until about 3 this morning when I had to double up the pain meds. But, Im feeling great now and even got up this morning with the kids. Made breakfast. Had my coffee. Now I'm headed back to bed for a nap, and then Maddison wants to spend her birthday money....or......"puppy fund money" I should say. :)


Hallie said...

I'm so glad that surgery went well, you got to go home and that your bg behaved!!

I'm SO SORRY that you had to see that awful man. I hope you stuck your tongue out at him even though I'm sure you'd rather do worse!

When will you hear results? Praying for you....

Amanda said...

Wow Kelly. I am pretty new to your blog and didn't know about your Dad - I just clicked on the link in your post and I wanted to tell you that I am so so sorry about everything that happened with your sweet Dad.
It sounds like you have had such a a difficult year! My thoughts are with you and I hope that you are recovering well from your surgery.