Ouch

Maddison likes to play "Vet" with her stuffed animals. So, of course that means most of the animals have Diabetes. I overheard her saying to the "mom" of her little black horse that "everything will be fine again soon." She said "this isn't cancer or dying, an insulin pump will make it all better." Ahhhhhhhh. I am so relieved that she has this kind of outlook. She could have said alot of horrible things about Diabetes that would break my heart, but she doesn't see things this way at all. Most days anyway.

On Monday Maddison lost our pump site automatic inserter because she uses it when she plays "Vet". All her stuffed animals have insulin pumps, so she has been pretending to change their pump sites with it. I thought about telling her to not use it for pretend play since it is not a toy, and is a very important part of our site changes. We have never had to change a site without it. But, I was intrigued by her pretend Diabetes play and figured it was an important part of her caring for her stuffed animals with Diabetes. So I took the responsibility approach and told her to BE SURE she puts it back in our Diabetes cabinet when her play is through. Somehow, it must be mixed in with toys somewhere. We tore the house apart looking for it since it was site change day for us both. Nothing. Can't find it anywhere.

Maddison freaked a little when I told her I had to manually insert the site. We talked about it for a few minutes and she said to just get it over with. I was so nervous, as though this was the first few site changes. If she screams in pain it makes me flinch, sometimes making it worse. I felt her skin stretch and the needle poke through her skin which grossed me out and made me feel horrible that I do this to my child every 3 days. But, not a peep.

Until last night that is. She was a bit low anyway, so that means drama and irritability which really made me worry. After her juice she began to cry-alot. She pleaded with me to just let her take a shot. But it isn't that easy. She wanted her site in her tummy, which made me even more nervous since it doesn't have any extra fat to spare. Insert, quickly this time.....she screams in pain as I feel it poke through her skin. "Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!" she screamed. Then, that was it. She checked out the new site, wiped the tears from her eyes and jumped off the bed to go play. Zooming around the house laughing while the puppy chased her. I wish it was that easy for my heart to erase the "ouch".