Sunday, June 15, 2008

Just doing

We are four weeks into summer vacation and I can't believe how time has flown by. The last few weeks I have just been doing. "Nothing," that is.... in terms of Maddison's blood sugar. I'm not changing much, though I am watching everything change. She's been running much higher than normal (160-280's) and I'm not too keen on doing anything about it. If I change anything lately it back fires. So, I am not logging. I am not adjusting and I am not looking for patterns. I don't need to. It is obvious there isn't any pattern or tracking to be done. This is Summer. Every day is entirely different. So I have surprisingly just been doing "nothing" extra. Just letting it be. Correct the high or low and move on. I'm taking a break from the micro managing and waiting this one out until I see something that makes sense. I'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to find the answer. Right now there isn't one, unless it is simply called Summer. No schedule, no routine, no set bedtime. Every day is carefree. Exactly how a summer break is intended to be. I can't believe I, the perfectionist, has given in and agreed to just let things be. It feels really good. Of course I feel a bit guilty (as always) but this is just how things will be for now.

Me? I am low. Low, Low and Low again. Why? I have no idea. It certainly isn't my workout. Nope. Too tired lately to get out of bed in time. I'm a bit perplexed and actually very worried about my lows because I am not feeling them until the 40's, and even then it is just a slight feeling of head fogginess. That's pretty scary to expect a 60 or so and to see a 42 with no real strong hypo symptoms. Damn. I better figure something out before the 30's and 20's creep up on me. Of course, I have gained about 5lbs the last few weeks because I have to keep force feeding sugar into my body to treat the nasty lows. I hate that.

"Just doing" is a good choice for us right now. I have some sanity and Maddison's poor little fingers get a chance to recover from the crazed basal testings. We are high spirited lately. We are keeping very busy. Anxious for a new baby cousin waiting to be born. Planning a trip to the gotta love summer.

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