Thursday, June 9, 2011

A New Day

Maddison left for camp Saturday afternoon, which makes today Day 5 of me just hanging on for tomorrow!! Im ready for Maddison to come home now please!

I must say, I am proud of Maddi for making it this far into camp week. I kinda thought maybe she would be faking sick by now, asking to come home. (She said that’s what she would do if she was ready to come home and they wouldn’t let her, and she assured me they wouldn’t catch on) Afterall, Maddison has only had a couple of sleepovers away from home, and they have never been more than one night! But, what do you know!? Just two days left! Now its like I'm counting down to Christmas! I’m so excited to hear all about camp, and see the ways Maddison has grown from this first year experience! Of course I can't wait to hug Maddi SO tight, and I really need my hiking, biking, volunteering, shopping, walking, tennis playing buddy back to stay sane!

Hallelujah, the first few days of my crazy camp worries have passed! There were a few moments I thought the worry might just kill me! I’m still not really sleeping well, I guess I have an internal clock telling me to wake up and check Maddison’s sugars. Hmmm.....imagine that.

So today I was thinking about the constant-ness of Diabetes, and how this camp thing has left me feeling totally lost without numbers to manage hour to hour, day to day. Camp week has made me realize this......

Instead of each day blending in with the last as it has since D entered our lives, each day this camp week has been new. Its weird. As a D parent our days really have no end. No close. Just continuing-ness of D management. You can't always tell where one day ended and the next began.

I mean, I can go to sleep and that’s it? I don’t need to give juice, a snack or insulin to get through until the next alarm for a sugar check in a couple hours? Wwhhhaaaattttt?

Last night I climbed in bed without a second thought! I just climbed in and went to sleep without analyzing any numbers! I didn’t have to set multiple alarms to check numbers. (I rarely need to check myself overnight but always check maddi at least once) I woke up today, a new day, without any numbers in my mind. I didnt wake up pissed off and groggy headed because of a night of continual high blood sugars, or heavy hearted from chasing scary lows. I wasnt thinking about Diabetes AT ALL when I woke up today because the day ended when I went to bed the first time! Imagine that! A new day, with new numbers....not one long drawn out life of chasing numbers! Just a new day!

Its been nice to wake up to a new start each day, but now I just want my Maddi to come home!


Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

Wow...what a concept: going to bed without numbers on the brain!
Excited to hear camp stories in a few days...Bean leaves on the 26th so it will be great for her to hear about Maddi's fun!

Hallie said...

Wow. What a thought. Our days really do just bleed into each other don't they?

So glad there's only a few days left! I can't wait to hear all about camp, either!!