Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day 3 without Maddi

Today we passed day 3 of Maddison being away at Diabetes camp, and tonight will be night 4 of Maddison sleeping away from this Momma Pancreas! DAY 4!! Denisecommented on my post yesterday saying she hopes today was better and I get some rest from the worry....Well guess what!!?? Today I didnt have ONE worry in my mind! Funny how time brings comfort, or is it the DOC that brings comfort?

This morning I slept in until 8am after waking to a 486 blood sugar AGAIN at 2am. Im pretty sure I rebounded....or SOMETHING after the low I had earlier in the night. I wasn't supposed to fall asleep with 3.4u active, but I did. NEVER have I seen my number over 400 since my diagnosis 5 years ago.....SCARY. Whatever caused the 486, I dont know. But WOW can you feel it!!!!I felt like cave woman dragging out of bed. My hair was a wreck from tossing and turning. My lips dry and crusty. The horrid need to pee is what made me wake up, followed by thirst that I thought would kill me. Anyway, I slept in after a big fat correction and tons of water, because I didnt have to work today, and MAN, it took all I had in me to get out of bed at 8am!!!

What do you do when you have all day without Maddi and Diabetes? You organize her closet of course! 3 hours in, Im still 211. ICK. YUCK. EW. WTF? I have never seen so many stuffed animals in my life. We even donated 7 bags full before we moved!! I finally showered by 1pm and ended up with a BS of 90. Half the day was over, so staying busy was the key to not thinking about Maddison at camp.

More chores, laundry, hanging out with my teen for awhile....the day went fast. We had the mother in law over for dinner....great times! But OMG! I forgot to check the mail today!

And there is was! A letter from Maddison, a letter from camp! I swear, I felt like a child getting a letter from Santa! It was magical. I had it opened by the time I walked inside....

"Dear Mom and Dad,

I am trying lots of new foods here at camp just like you wanted me too. I like Bananas and will eat them when I get home. I miss Cally and Kitty, My cabin is much quieter than I thought, it isnt so bad. It is calm. I miss you so much but I am having a grate time.

Love, Maddison"

MUSIC TO MY EARS!!!! I could hear Maddi's voice reading to me!! I felt so warm and fuzzy inside! Just the little note I needed!

And so, Day 3 of Camp isnt so bad from this Momma Pancreas' point of view. Day 3 without Maddi has proven to be so much easier than the first days. Still no phone calls from camp means everything is A-ok. Im calm. I thought about all the thinks I can think! Im hoping I sleep well tonight. No alarms, and I plead for no crazy highs to wake me up! I know when Maddison comes home Saturday from camp a whole new door has opened up.... Maddison's outlook. Her confidence. Her attitude....New camp friends for life.... A new sense of responsibility towards her life long health.....

Living peacefully and beautifully with Diabetes.....PRICELESS.

**Oh, and how cool is it? Our 4th year pumping, both Maddison and I, TODAY!!!!**


Jules said...

such a sweet post. i could literally feel your warm fuzzies over the note from camp. sigh.. so lovely being a mum... having them there, having a break. its all bitter sweet, right!

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

Oh, Kelly! I am soooo happy today was a better day! Hoping for better numbers for you tonight and even better rest!
Love, love, love the letter. So sweet! We're hoping Bean tries new foods at camp, too...she's quite picky, it will be interesting to say the least!
Congrats on the pump-birthday! Awesome! :)

Heidi / D-Tales said...

Hope that's the last number above 400 you see for a good, long time!

Her letter and your new-found calm and comfort made me smile! You sound so much better in this post! :)

Nikki of Our Diabetic Warrior said...

I'm so glad to hear that Maddi is enjoying herself!

Hallie said...

Oh my goodness gracious!!! I can just FEEL your worry! Although I want that experience for Sweets, I don't know if I'll be able to do it!! I'm so glad today was better... And your bg came down. Yuk!!!! Here's to more peaceful days!!