Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"Please Come Take Me Home"

Last week Maddison finally returned home from 7 days away at Diabetes camp. I couldn’t wait to see her smiling face and listen to all her camp stories! My half empty heart felt complete again as soon as she stepped off that bus, and Maddison’s endless chatter filled the car on the drive home. Besides looking run down and super tan, she also looked as though she grew many inches! Summertime (just before her birthday in August) is when Maddison seems to always grow the most! Luckily I caught up on some sleep while she was away at camp because I have a feeling things are about to get crazy with changes! Of course, the first 5 days or so home from Camp Maddison was running lowish from all the increased activity, even despite her pump still set on crazy basal and ratio decreases! I don’t think we saw a number over 120 for many, many days after camp, even though she was STARVING and eating non-stop! Now as things have gotten back to “normal” its right back to chasing numbers of course!

Maddi still has endless stories about all the fun times she had at camp, just as I expected. Sadly though, she made sure to tell me right away that she spent a lot of time “scary low” in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, so I figured I should take a second and ask her about the letter she mailed to us asking to come home. “Did you really want to come home? I asked. Her reply was a very quiet “YES.” Followed by a long silent pause. “Are the lows part of the reason you wanted to come home?” I asked. Her reply was “No, not really.” Then more silence. I then asked Maddison if she told them she wanted to go home, and she said she did tell them a few times but they told her that going home was “not an option.” Im not really so sure what I think about that....mostly because there were tears in her eyes as she told me!

YIKES. I quick changed the subject so we could talk about it later, because I wanted Maddison to tell me all about the hiking, archery, horse back riding, theme nights, and even the crazy pranks the counselors played. Yes, Maddison had a GREAT time, despite truely wanting to come home by the third day of camp.

So, later in the evening we talked more about why she wanted to come home from camp. Many of the things she told me were NOT what I expected to hear!

Reason #1 was because “Four people were standing over her when she woke up really low in the night” Maddison said this happened “a couple times” over the week and she remembers feeling panicked because there were so many people beside her watching to make sure her blood sugar came up. I can only imagine what her blood sugar was to cause such a stir with the medical professionals!!! I really, truly, honestly thought I was going to throw up when she told me this! Of course, the only logged blood sugar numbers that are sent home from camp are the pre-meal numbers and the bedtime number....Im guessing this is exactly why!!! I don’t think I even want to know, and its probably better that I dont! She made it home safe and thats all that matters right!!??

#2 The cabin bully. –Sigh- Maddison seems to always be a target for bullies, even though we have often had conversations about handling these situations in the past. I NEVER would have thought D camp would have a bully!!! I mean, these kids are with their assigned care givers almost constantly!! My heart was broken when I heard Maddison was bullied at camp, a time when she was supposed to feel indifferent and have the time of her life!!! It sounds like all the kids were aware of this “bully” and Maddison assured me the camp counselors did address some issues with this MEAN child several times during the stay at camp. Sadly though, Maddison felt it didn’t change much.

#3 Maddison says she was tired of all the “wildness” which means, she was simply tired of all the noise and constant people everywhere. I would have guessed this one! Maddison just isn’t the large gathering type most days, kinda like her mother.

#4 They made her climb the rock wall that she was afraid of. Well, she said she wanted to climb half way up the wall and then go back down, but they “made her” try and try again to make it to the top. She told me she ended up crying because she was so scared. Ive seen this same scenario on many rock walls unfortunetly! Maddison always wants to tackle those rock walls, but her fear of falling from “defective” ropes just takes over the higher up the wall she gets. Encouragement is one thing...but peer pressure is another. Maddison just doesn’t handle it well (and sometimes cant tell between the two) so I can only assume she was already lacking some confidence and struggling because of the “bully” at this point!

#4 The food. Picky eaters and camp don’t mix. Each camp year I have hope that Maddison will just try the damn food...but she starves herself instead! Its so frustrating!! I can see in her pump history that she was only eating about 10-20 carbs per meal, and she sounded mortified to tell me that they “forced” them to eat their food. She is such a drama queen when it comes to food. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!

#5 The boy she asked to Dance with her at the Dance said NO. –UGH- Geeezzzzz!!!!! What can you say to that!!?? My poor Maddie just seemed to have one strike to her confidence after another this year at camp! Im SO sad for her!

Even though this years camp experience wasn’t so great for Maddison she still had tons of fun. She is a tough girl and you cant keep her down for long! If I could change one thing for her at Camp it would be the fear she had in sleeping away from home with Diabetes! She can handle bullies, peer pressure and disappointments, but no child should be afraid to go to sleep at night!!! STUPID DIABETES!!!

When I asked Maddi if she would want to go to camp again next year she told me that even if the “BULLY” is not there she “PROBABLY WONT” want to go. UGH. That breaks my heart! Needless to say you can rest assured that the Camp director is aware of the “bullying" that Maddison experienced in detail, and we will still encourage her to know that very year at camp will be different! I hope all the other D campers out there had a better experience than we did this time around!

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