Tomorrow at noon Maddison leaves for CampAZDA. This will be just our second year sending Maddison to Diabetes camp, but let me tell ya, people aren't kidding when they say Diabetes Camp is something their child talks about all year! Maddison has had her suitcase packed for almost 3 weeks now, and has been eagerly anticipating camp since Spring break! So far I have been nearly worry free about sending Maddison to camp this time around......until bedtime rolled around tonight!
Now I can't sleep. And neither can Maddi. Both for VERY different, and total opposite reasons.
Maddison couldnt wait to go to bed tonight. In the summer I always have to drag that kid to bed, but not tonight. You'd think she were going to Disneyland in the morning or something! She is giddy. Bubbly. Smiley. Trying SO hard to sleep! I can hear her still tossing and turning down the hall...
Her bedtime number tonight was 106. -Sigh- A beautiful number. A number that Im fairly confident will rise to around 150 or 160.
Or maybe not.
Sometimes Maddi will spike to over 200 lately, just after falling asleep. So I sit and wait another hour to recheck.
I then realized this "bedtime" check is the last I will see for Maddi until JUNE 16th!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats 8 nights away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think my heart just skipped a beat.
Oh man. I was doing so good. I guess it was just wishful thinking that this time around I wouldnt have the same worries about sending Maddi to camp. But in reality Diabetes never changes, and neither does the endless concern of blood sugars. So, here I am again tonight wondering how I will *sanely* make it through the next 8 nights without knowing ANYTHING about Maddison's blood sugars. I feel empty already, and Maddi hasn't even gone away to camp yet!!
This kind of concern and "worry" is something that no person/parent could EVER understand, unless you live this Diabetes life. -Sigh-
But, the truth is, this isnt all stressful.
It is also incredibly heartwarming.
Friendships will be made. Confidence will grow. Most importantly....the children at Diabetes camp will be surrounded with UNDERSTANDING. We are all in this together. We learn from each other, share with each other, support one another, encourage each other, trust and confide in one another.....UNITE.
I will myself grow (or let go) from this whole camp experience every bit (if not more!) as Maddison will, and THAT in itself is what this journey called life is all about.
(((So now I will secretly and silently go climb in bed with Maddison and hold her tight, PRAYING for a cure!!!)))
Moving my blog again
8 years ago