I finally told Hannah last night that I had to check her blood sugar. She had been drinking so much and was emotional and grumpy all day. After 20min of her pleading and crying (literally) she was a perfect 107. I feel like a jerk for doing that to her when she is so fearful of needles, and more so afraid of what number will come up. I feel like an idiot for suspecting something that wasn't even there. I feel guilty for going back on my promise to not poke her anymore. I had to explain that it is my place to keep her safe and with every symptom in the book, I had to make sure she is okay. I still feel horrible though. I really believed that she was going to be in the 200's. I thank god that she wasn't. Hannah is just a normal, growing, hungry and emotional girl. Hooray!
Now every time she is hungry an hour after eating I will just smile and be happy that she is growing. She isn't high. When she is emotional and out of sorts I will understand that she is 11 going on 16. I hate that Diabetes has made me paranoid of Hannah's future health. I hate that I always wonder if it is secretly working its evil inside my healthy childs body. I promise to get myself in check and STOP wondering and worrying. Next time I question I will ask Josh to give me a quick slap in the face. -ugh- What a horrible thing I have done to Hannah.
Moving my blog again
8 years ago