Biking

What is it with bike riding that makes it require a billion carbs to keep from going low? Maddison FINALLY decided to try to ride a bike earlier this week. She took right off and never looked back. Since then, we have been taking nice long bike rides every day. I wish we could just set out without having to pack up first. The amount of stuff I need to pack just for a "carefree" bike ride is crazy!

Two meters. Two juices, glucose tabs, glucagon, water, cell phone and more juice. I gave Maddison a granola bar (17c) with a yogurt drink (13c)just before we left on our biking adventure. Thats alot of carbs. Her BS was a nice 167 to start, before the other carbs were eaten. About an hour later our bike ride came to an end. Maddison was 150. Hooray for getting it right!

I however, avoid bike riding like the plague. (even though I love it) I dont know what it is with using those different muscles, but I need around 60c to make it through an hour ride. My "normal" workout on the treadmill and doing interval weights requires nothing additional to keep me from going low. In fact, the adrenaline from running or walking on an incline will make me go high if I dont bolus a teensy bit. Very weird how different activities need different treatments. Before we left on our morning bike ride I had 75c without bolus. I came home at 92 with .3 active (from my morning coffee) Sometimes there isnt time for temp basals. Sometimes there isnt time for planning before last minute bike rides. We just do what we want to do, when we want to do it, and hope Diabetes co-operates. Today it did, and it just made my day.

What a great Sunday! The temp today will top 83 degrees. Its November and we are still in the 80's!! This month is going to fly by! Hannah will have 2 hour Vball practices on Mondays and Wednesdays with conditioning on Fridays. On the 28th my Hannah will be 13. THIRTEEN!!! Thanksgiving..... then the dreaded Christmas. I really dont like what Christmas has become. But, I do love Thanksgiving! The new year.....where is the time flying!? For now I'm taking a step back and enjoying the calm before the storm :)

Its Coming

World Diabetes Day is coming. Type 1, Type 2....it doesn't matter. Its all the same in the end. It all sucks just the same. Do your part to help us turn this world BLUE on November 14th.

WORLD DIABETES DAY

Silly me

Two days ago I had a sudden onset of pain in my calf muscle. I ignored it best as I could, until today at work when my entire leg felt as though it weighed 500lbs. I tried to convince myself it was all my imagination, and then as usual, it backfired and I began to have all kinds of crazy thoughts in my head.

I did have shortness of breath. I do have warmth there to the touch too. I can't have a blood clot! And then, I remembered this little thing called Diabetes. With Diabetes everything is a little more possible! So I tried to distract myself. No swelling, but my skin looks mottled all over now. I stood at my desk instead of sat. I stretched. I walked. My leg feels cold. I can't ignore it, what if I DO actually have a clot there? So, I called my doctor (who is awesome at always getting me in the same day) and scheduled a 2pm appointment.

I almost cancelled my appointment as the day wore on. I was back to thinking this was all my imagination. Ohhhhh the power of the mind! My doctor took one look at my calf, felt it and agreed it was warm to the touch, then left the room to call and get me a STAT Venous Doppler. Driving to the hospital I kept thinking "HOLY MOLY" "I might really have a blood clot!" and then I would turn right back around and say there was no way. Diabetes or no Diabetes, I'm FINE! Then the pain would pulsate and the mottling became purplish. Then my heart began to pound. "OH MY GOSH!! NOW I LOST THE CLOT AND ITS A PULMONARY EMBOLISM!!" Silly me, it was just a low. And, by the way....checking your blood sugar while driving IS as dangerous as texting while driving. I dont suggest you try it.

The doppler was quick. There isn't a DVT. I was on my way home and quickly counting my blessings. Counting each and every one of my blessings. I woke up this morning to very sad news all around me. A friends daughter lost her battle to cancer overnight. Wendy lost a dear friend to H1N1. So many health tragedies surrounding us lately. And here I was just FINE. HAPPY. HEALTHY. Thinking of the most precious family I am going home to. At peace with life. Hoping the others around us would be comforted soon again too.......

The GI Doc

Just back from Maddison's appointment with the GI doctor... He was GREAT! He listens. He validated my concerns. He is very caring and kind. Being that Maddison's labs came back completely negative of all Celiac Antibodies, we have 2 weeks in which he wants to try SOMETHING before moving on to the scope biopsy. I suppose I agree somewhat to that, even though Maddison has such screaming loud symptoms of Celiac.

*Stomach pain (since forever!)
*Dental enamel defects, per her Dentist
*Bone age delay (5yrs 9months when she was 8yrs 4months old)
*Short Stature
*Failure to thrive as a young child
*Fatigue
*Dermatitis of her elbows
*And now, unexplained severe low blood sugar only after meals

The other thing is, a biopsy is the only "Gold Standard" of diagnosing Celiac. Just because Maddison doesn't have any antibodies of Celiac doesn't mean she doesn't have it. AND, my whole point is this....Maddison does not have any abnormal antibodies that indicate she has Diabetes either. SO MAYBE she just doesnt have the Celiac antibodies just the same. To me, that would make sense. Throw in some new crazy lows on top of all the other symptoms(including intensified abdominal pain)and we have no choice but to do the biopsy in my opinion. Two weeks on Prevacid, I'll give him that. But I'm still requesting the biopsy regardless.

Our super high ratio left Maddison 280's after breakfast today. Thats much safer than 20's for now, but its still hard to do. I know Maddison feels terrible because of it. Strange thing, I have Maddison's lunch ratio from 1:26 to 1:40 and she came back at 188....Hmmmmmmm that would have been a BAD low if her ratio wasn't so high. I think. I know....Ratio's change. Basals change. Sensitivity changes. Everything changes. But 20's dont just happen often for no reason when you are doing everything in your power to prevent them! I'm happy we are on our way to at least ruling out Celiac. We found a great doctor once again, and I know soon we will be back to "normal."

Whatever that is.

One very special Endo

Last night I couldn't sleep, even though I was so mentally exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep for days. Its no secret that I've been completely overwhelmed and frustrated to the core with Maddison's lows. Well, today one very special Endo changed all that. Dr "D" listens. She sympathizes. She understands. She goes the extra mile, especially when it comes to comforting and educating our children about their Diabetes. Dr "D" is a blessing to our family. I leave every appointment feeling like a fantabulous defeater of Diabetes! Dr D really changed the way I feel about all this nonsense lately. That is miraculous in itself!

Dr "D" agrees that Maddison needs to see a GI doctor based on her lows being only after meals. She also assured me I'm doing nothing wrong. I'm not missing anything, and there isnt anything else I could be doing that I haven't already. PEACE OF MIND. Now was the time I needed to hear that! I can't tell you enough how one simple visit today changed so many of my hard feelings! I feel like I'm cured of this guilt trip. I've been heard and my concerns are validated! Now we can move forward. A cancellation at the GI's office leaves us with an appointment tomorrow after school. Hallelujah!

I'm still freaked out by the fact that Maddison is unaware of her lows. We have always been very fortunate that Maddison was able to sense her lows before they got unsafely low. All I can do is run her higher right now and PRAY that someone can tell when she is off. School will continue to stress me out for now I guess. How do you send your kid to school knowing they dont feel their lows!!?? I've emailed Maddison's teacher and asked her to be especially attentive to any changes she may exhibit. I know she thinks I'm crazy by now. Thats ok. Sometimes we have to be.

Speaking of crazy....the school continues to suggest that Maddison no longer qualifies for an IEP. New testing results are back and we will be reviewing the results in a meeting the next few weeks. Today I contacted the ADA for an advocate. Now we will be good to go in this fight. It disgusts me that we have to fight for Maddison in so many ways. I guess I was naive to think the school is out for HER best interest.

Today Maddison woke up in the higher 300's with moderate ketones which is weird. New ratio from 1:14 to 1:20 left her in the 300's after breakfast. She wasn't low, and thats all that matters at this point. Maddison's A1c came back at 7.7% which I was HAPPY with. HAPPY. I was honestly relieved to hear I wasn't missing too many lows. Now we move forward and hope we find the answer to getting us back on track.

((Oh and thanks to everyone who offered suggestions on changing our meter. You never know what one might forget to consider! Unfortunately, these lows aren't a meter issue. We replaced all meters when these lows started back in Septemeber, and I even traded pumps with Maddison to assure they weren't malfunctioning.))

Unaware and TRUST your motherly instincts!!

Mondays have been hard for me lately. Every Monday starts the school week over, and each Monday that rolls around I fight to stay sane. Nervous. Scared. Worried. Every Monday I'm faced with asking myself what this week will bring for Maddison's blood sugars. Will she be back to running high? Will everything be good and then BAM! The lows come back? Mondays are not my friend. Especially not today.

Somehow I forgot to re-set my alarm after Maddison's 3am check. Probably because I was half asleep. So I leapt out of bed an hour later than usual this morning, school was to start in 15 minutes. That's never a fun way to start your day. Let me back track for a minute.....Saturday and Sunday Maddison did fine blood sugar wise all day, I even let her run a bit high because of Fridays low at school. Not one low all weekend until Sunday late afternoon which resulted from Maddison zooming around on her scooter and not coming in for a snack like she knows she should have done. I grabbed Maddison's meter and went to test her. She was 52. She didn't have a low feeling what-so-ever. Maddison has become unaware of her lows, which makes me a nervous wreck inside.

After 15c of juice Maddison was in the high 300's. I'm pretty sure that was a rebound. After rebounding, Maddison had a meltdown. She was very angry and mouthy to her friends. How do you excuse that? Knowing that Maddison just went through hell and back with her blood sugars, I had to distract. I apologized and explained to her friends, then I took them all for a walk. Maddison was feeling 100% better within a few minutes. Damn this disease is so complicated!

Anyway...back to this crazy Monday. What to do with insulin dosing for back to school...... Think drastic knowing lows like school this year! Zero basal for several hours prior to the problematic 9:30am time frame. 20 extra carbs without insulin for breakfast. Being that Maddison's breakfast was so late today, she wouldn't need to be checked at that normal time and could wait for lunch to check. As the 2 hour PP time rolled around, I felt like I wanted to puke. Literally. I was sure my nausea was nervousness in waiting to hear Maddison's number from the school nurse. Now I'm thinking it was motherly instinct. I called the nurse and asked her to check Maddison NOW to make me feel better. She called Maddison down to her office after telling me that "if Maddison felt low she would come in." NO I explained.....Maddison isn't feeling her lows! JUST DO IT!

35. Sitting in class at 35 without a hypo feeling what-so-ever. 20 extra carbs for breakfast. Same old same breakfast. A Zero basal rate. I don't understand. Hypo unaware. I can't help but feel like a total failure even though I know I have done everything right. How could we get to this point? What in the WORLD is going on? Maddison has had 8 blood sugars under 30 this year at school. First it was just after lunch. Then those lows disappeared and moved to mornings. MANY 40's and 50's and one LO. I immediately called the Endo. I had to leave a message. No one ever returned my call. Alone with this SCARY, CRAZY disease!! No one to make it right except ME!!

By snack time Maddison was 88 which is almost 3 hours after lunch. Seeing the 88 pop up in an email from the nurse, I wanted to just break down and cry. I'm scared to death to have Maddison be that "low" now. What do I do for the snack bolus? Do I decide to cut her insulin out for her snack? We have NEVER had lows this school year after snack time, so I thought Maddison would be fine with the normal bolus for her carbs. I should have listened to my first reaction of fearing the 88. An hour later I started to second guess myself, so I called Josh from work asking him to check Maddison as soon as she got home from school. That would be 1 hour after her snack. Maddison was 24. TWENTY FOUR. Josh immediately re-checked the 24 hoping it wasn't true. 241 stared back, so Josh assumed the 24 was wrong. ((WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT!!??)) He doesn't understand the rebound effect no matter how much I explain. Two SERIOUS LIFE THREATENING LOWS IN ONE DAY. Maddison was talking and seemingly fine. But inside, insulin was sucking the life right out of my baby. Coma, seizures.... Diabetes could have taken her LIFE. TWICE IN ONE DAY.


Is this seriously happening? WHY!!?? Now all of a sudden we have lows in this time frame too? SOMETHING isn't right. I wont let Maddison go under 250. I cant. That would be too dangerous. Are these lows going to strike at night any day now? What am I supposed to do!!?? Headaches. Stomach aches. Mood swings. FEAR. Maddison and I are both a mess.

The good news is, tomorrow is our 3 month appointment with her Endo.
If Maddison's A1c comes back reflecting these HORRID lows, its gonna be bad. I will lose it. I will have a serious breakdown. RIGHT. THERE. IN. THAT. OFFICE. It wont be pretty. Josh has this week as a vacation week and is off work. He will be right there with me, thank goodness. Tomorrow morning? Every damn day we start over don't we? I guess I don't give any insulin for breakfast. I'm so ticked off that the Endo's office never called me back today. I guess we really are alone in managing this disease aren't we?

I've considered everything in fighting these lows. Is the pump dosing incorrectly? Is Maddison's pump site hitting a muscle? Is it the arm sites vs the butt sites? Is Maddison throwing away her food? Is she running wild at recess? Is the school nurse counting her carbs wrong? Am I programming something wrong in her pump? Sensitivity? Basal? Bolus? Weather? Growth spurt? Puberty? Stress? Illness? Depression? Am I being too slow in making changes? Am I missing something? What in the HELL IS HAPPENING!!?? CGM is on its way, again. I dont want to force Maddison into wearing another damn machine. But now I have no choice.

Boo to Diabetes

Saturday was a a very busy fun filled day! PERFECT weather for the JDRF walk. We had a good turn out this year and raised a decent amount of money towards a cure :) JDRF walk on Halloween? Thats one busy day! Our team Tshirts this year are AWESOME!!

After the walk we headed home for naps before Trick or Treating. Halloween on our cul-de-sac is tradition of sorts, all families gather for food, pictures and a costume parade followed of course by trick or treat till you drop.


My Hannah had club volleyball tryouts today. Hannah is officially #3 once again and back in the game! My girl made the 13's NATIONAL team!! This is a HUGE step and I can't WAIT to see our team grow together this year. First practice is tomorrow.....back to the Volleyball life we go!