34 and PMS

A few weeks ago Maddison was running high, high, high. It used to be that "high" was 200-250's for Maddison, but nowadays the threshold of "high" has changed since the TWEEN years are here. 280's-380's is now not uncommon for high spells. GASP!!!

After 2-3 days of high patterns I get on those numbers!! I start by increasing basals around the clock, and if that doesnt work in 2 days or so, I also adjust the ratios with MORE added basal power. Right now Maddison is at 80% more insulin per day than she was a few weeks ago!! Logging. Tracking. Studying. I used to be able to "flip flop" between 2 different basal settings in her pump. One for "normal" and one for "high spells" so everything would fall into place with just a simple pattern change set in the pump memory. Not so much anymore! I tell you this Diabetes and hormone resistance is some scary stuff!!

JUST when I find the right changes to Maddison's insulin doses she will have a week or two (rarely 3) of near "perfection" with numbers....and then it suddenly changes. That "perfect" week of numbers has passed us by yet again.....

As of yesterday.

143 before PE and 54 after. Of course, I blamed PE for "causing" the low, although I was starting to question if it was about time her insulin needs (basal rate mostly) were dropping again.

Stupid me, I didnt know today was a PE day again. If I did, I could have suggested Maddi have a small snack JUST IN CASE. But, Im too late. 151 before PE was great(no IOB)but before class was over the nurse was called to rush over to the gym for my dear, sweet child who was fading fast. BS = 34

Mom FAIL.

GUILT.

Guilt is a HUGE manifestation of this disease. Even if we know better than to place blame.

I could beat myself up over "inflicting" this low on my poor kid, or I can blow it off and sit down with the numbers tonight.

I have to choose the numbers. Just sit down with the numbers and fix it!! Stop feeling guilty!!! Because, I know better. Because I have to. Because we ALWAYS pick ourselves back up and shrug off the guilt for our own best interest. I believe Diabetes is a 50/50% mental disease, SERIOUSLY!!!

Do you know what I suspect? Maybe this is too much information....but, I suspect Maddison's hormone levels are following her older Sisters menstrual cycle. YEP. Add another variable to the blood sugar drama of a growing girl! (she hasnt actually "started yet") Ive been aware of this reality for years now, but lately its becoming a very clear picture!! The older Sisters PMS was some CRAZINESS over the weekend, then "the day" came, and.....BOOM! Maddison started with the LOWS. Very interesting indeed.

Lucky me, I had surgery to end mine back in 2010 and let me tell you, I dont have the same highs and lows each month like I used to! Once that PMS would start my blood sugars would be bonkers. Much higher than normal. Unpredictable. Then as soon as the "time came" my blood sugars would drop like a rock. Out of no where. Usually while I was sleeping. Today with this crazy low I am reminded that any month now my poor sweet little girl will be CLOSER to more of a woman. Nooooooo!!!!Im feeling a bit traumatized actually!

UGH. Bring it on PMS, I figured you out once for myself, and I will just have to figure you out again. -Sigh-