Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"Dont Forget"

Its 10pm.

Maddi's blood sugar is 83 with .375 insulin still active from dinner.

She pops 8c of a protein bar in her mouth, exhausted. She lies down on her pillow closing her eyes, anxiously waiting to re-check her number in about 20 minutes or so.

She should be sleeping, not worrying about blood sugars.

"DONT FORGET to recheck me in about 20 minutes if Im asleep!" Maddi says...

Oh sweet Maddi.

I only wish I could "forget" about numbers at night. I only wish we could....

But we cant.

You can, and you should! Ive got this Maddi....

It hurts my heart that you worry before drifting off to sleep.

Can you imagine if Diabetes slept? Can you imagine how "easy" Diabetes would be if we didnt have to watch over crazy blood sugars through the night?

Can you imagine knowing that your child is healthier because all we have to manage is daytime numbers? A nice long streak of Diabetes SLEEPING when our child sleeps at night?

We can dream cant we?

The 6th grade transition this year has been tough, though Maddi won't admit it. I can see it in her tired eyes. She wants to nap every day after school. Homework. Studying. More homework. Projects. Peers....Diabetes.

Maddi's back to school blood sugars the first two weeks were great. Then came the highs I expected. Increase, increase, increase. Better. Increase, increase, increase.

We are now FINALLY seeing relief of continual too high out of range numbers, so Madi now feels low in the 90's. She is grumpy and feeling icky lately because of it.

Gaining back "control" of numbers means you will likely start to experience some lows. Which we you back off a tad until you find the magic dose....We are almost there!!

For now.

Maddison has been doing an amazing job managing numbers on her own while at school, but she mentioned to me the other day that she wishes she didnt have to do this. She doesnt wanna do this Diabetes thing anymore, she said she is tired. I cant help but wonder if this is the tween/teen years talking. Diabetes is so hard for kids, but even harder for kids Maddi's age it seems.

My Maddi, who never complains about her Diabetes, mentioned she is tired of it all.

So am I Maddi, so am I.


Reyna said...

Oh boy...we are having lows...lows...lows. Joe's recess is BEFORE IOB...b/c snack is 2.5 hours before recess. UGH...

Proud of Maddi. Proud of you. I am not looking forward to "D" in the tween and teen years. xo

Misty said...

I love your dream of diabetes sleeping at night. Can you imagine the awesomeness of that?? Bless her heart, "don't forget to check me"!

Denise aka Mom of Bean said...

Oh, to have D we can, too!

Hope things level out soon! I know Bean was super frustrated in the first few weeks because she was having to test so often because we hadn't gotten her rates right.
I can only imagine adding hormones to the mix!! HUGS!!

Joanne said...

I would LOVE it if d would sleep when we do... What a pleasant thought!

katy said...

What a gorgeous thought--no D at night.

Scott K. Johnson said...

This post breaks my heart.

Love you guys!