Monday, January 21, 2013

IOB, not so NICE and randoms

IOB, or Insulin on board is the amount of insulin you still have working to bring down your blood sugar. Tonight at bedtime Maddison needed a correction dose. She was 210 but entered 280 into her pump. She was simply careless I guess. For some reason tonight I decided to look over her pump history for the second time....I usually do every night as she sleeps...but I already did earlier in the day, so it was just by chance that I caught this error of her entry just an hour after she fell asleep.


What if that tiny extra amount of insulin were to cause a low? A low that she would never wake up from? It COULD happen. It does happen. And sometimes, it happens without explanation. But could you imagine if you were the parent that made a mistake? Or the parent that missed your childs mistake? Its simply unfathomable.

So, I just set a temp reduction to Maddi's basals to balance things out. We shall see what the next hour brings. Tonight this little mishap reminds me of just how careful we ALWAYS need to be. Parents NEED to be the watchful eye, esecially while independance flourishes. Always. No matter what. Insulin pumps make our lives so much easier, in so many ways....yet they can be dangerous when not closely monitored. So for those that question why we still need to watch over our child's Diabetes management, this is why.

This morning I left for work after giving Maddison yet another correction dose for a high blood sugar. Dad was home with the girls today. Maddi knows to check her blood sugar before eating breakfast. Dad reminded her. She told him she would check....but overlooking her pump history today I see that she didnt. Why? Because, without constant reminding it seems most D kids just dont want to poke their fingers. They just dont. Even though they know they NEED to. Dad should have verified that she checked. But, he didnt.


I text Maddison from work at Noon for her blood sugar number. She was 398. Dad said she "forgot" to bolus an extra 15c he suggested at breakfast. Of course.

At 5pm when I got home from work I asked Maddison when she checked last. It was at Noon. She corrected the 398, but never rechecked a few hours later and never ate lunch. She KNOWS to recheck a crazy high two hours later, but without my constant "reminding" she sometimes fails to be responsible. Even Dad failed to be responsible and ask her where her numbers stood. This is typical. He leaves the responsibility to her.

I play this game on my own. 24/7/365

While Maddison will face a consequence for not doing what she needs to be doing....Dad just shrugs it off and places the "blame" on her. Something is incredibly fucked up there if you ask me. Yes, Im bitter. I have every right to be. Ive discussed this with HIM until Im blue in the face, and broken at heart. And nothing ever changes. I dont understand why.

These days Maddison is quite resistant to insulin. What used to be a total daily dose of around 18-20 units a day is now around 40 units a day. Hormones. Puberty. Growing. This girl of mine is growing like a weed. Diabetes is becoming something it never was before. It isnt "fun" or talked about by Maddison anymore. It just IS. Just there. Ignored mostly. Exactly what most tweens/teens with Diabetes want most in their life. Normalcy. Its a great thing actually, when Maddi is being responsible that is. While most days she is very responsible, the days she struggles or "forgets" are the hardest for me.

I dont blog much anymore. There isnt much to say. Nothing is surprising anymore. We have ups, downs and everything in between. Mostly, I just dont want to talk about it anymore, and I cant seem to find the words even if I do! Often while I am awake waiting on blood sugars at night I will type out a post, only to delete it when Im done. Just venting to myself I guess.

We have been doing GREAT actually, even though this post seems otherwise! I started on the Omnipod back in December, and simply said, I miss my Medtronic Pump dearly! But, insurance issues win and with the Pod I am forced to stay whether I like it or not.

Time to check Maddi. 162. I'm 135. I'll set the alarm for 3hours from now. Lather, rinse, repeat.


Joanne said...

Sorry the pod isn't working out... We love it, but I get that it's not for everybody. Those stats about her insulin needs are incredible. I'm starting to fear puberty!

Lora said...

I totally write posts and delete them to vent. Mostly about my husband. Hell, I probably could have written this whole post... The ups, downs, not much to say, sounds SO familiar. Just add in a little dumb as teacher stuff and it would be spot on.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hang in there, K.

As for blogging - don't sweat it. Doesn't cost you anything to have it here, and if it's here then you have a place to come and let it all out. And it doesn't cost us anything to keep it in our readers and see an update when you have one.

I've always said that blogging should never, ever be another source of stress. Write when you have something to say, when you feel like saying it, and when you have time and energy to write. If those stars don't align, then don't worry about it.


katy said...

One of the things I especially love about your blog is how you reveal that you're just as anxious as the non-D parents of T1 kids. Thank you for that.

However, I'm going to choose to not yet absorb the parts about tween hormones. Yet.

Also: I am so glad you're back! That was a long November-December without you!