The craziness of managing Diabetes in a child. An all and only about Type 1 Diabetes x's two in our house.
I'm not the depressed, obsessed, controlling, nagging, angry, and complaining person that this blog reflects. This blog is where I leave my daily Diabetes frustrations and move on. I do hope I can help others like us by voicing these feelings and being honest, helping you know you are not alone!
This morning Maddison was grumpy!! Grumpier than usual, I should say. Maddison isnt a morning person, "unless I wake up by myself WITHOUT an alarm clock!!" -Sigh- I don’t know if it was the high blood sugars all night (TWEEN!) or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, but I’d like to blame the Diabetes. Im just in a “blame Diabetes” kinda mood right now, and here are some of the reasons why....
#1 My pump ran out of insulin last night, and never alarmed. So, I woke up too high in the 240 range. Thirsty as all hell. Headachy. Achy and TIRED! I could blame myself for running out of insulin, but Id rather blame the pump for not alarming!
So, I then changed my pump site to my tummy (which I have only used a few times in all these years) and it hurt like a Bitch. That’s reason #2 to blame Diabetes for everything today! It made me grumpy! This site change was of course BEFORE I had my morning coffee, which means Im not only irritable because of high blood sugars but also highly irritable because my brain NEEDS coffee immediately upon waking....especially after chasing Maddi’s highs all night!! Stoopid Diabetes pump sites!
#3 Because Im using some nice new territory with this fresh pump site, Ive been chasing lows all day. Stoopid absorption changes! Lows all day, while at work. Even suckier than when you are just at home! At work I need to be focused! Im trying to calculate numbers from insurance payments and such, but I literally couldn’t add 2 + 2 today. I stared at the computer screen. Blankly. I had a lot of work to do, but Diabetes didn’t care. I was forced to put on my medical science hat and decide how to decrease my insulin dosing while wearing this tummy site for the next 3 days, or continue to run too low. Basals? Bolus? Or both? Stoopid Diabetes!
#4 I had enough test strips for the day....for a NORMAL day. Today wasn't normal. I was low, low, low and used all the test strips I had left! Which meant by the end of the day I was left GUESSING just how low I was. Blame the Diabetes. Or, the pump site!
Reason #5. Its 11am and my cell phone rings. Its Maddison’s school. By now Im saying the F word out loud while chasing my lows at work, and I don’t even care who hears me!
I was first thinking Maddison had a bad low blood sugar and the Nurse was calling to let me know. Maddison has been low a lot lately, so she isn’t feeling low anymore until she is VERY low...(hence the 34 over the weekend)
But instead of the Nurse calling to report a crazy low, a recorded message plays:
“Your child Maddison L is reported as absent today, November 3rd. “Please call the attendance office to verify”
WTF? I dropped off Maddison with many minutes to spare this morning, as usual. She should have been there in plenty of time before attendance was taken.
My heart palpitates...
My still lowish brain is being super dramatic, and even down right unreasonable at this point. I call the school, while worrying that Maddison somehow wandered off campus with a low blood sugar before the morning bell rang. Maybe she is passed out in the bathroom? Maybe she was low and couldn’t make it to the nurse!? Maybe her highs overnight have turned into DKA and she is in a coma somewhere!! Maybe she ditched school and walked to the park nearby? After all, she IS a school “hater.” It seems Maddison will just never understand why any child should “sit at a desk all day to learn nothing and be bored when real life teaches you more.” –Sigh-
I mean really...my mind was convincing me of all kinds of crazy shit! But still, you never know with this fucked up disease, and when you are a worried Mom with a lowish blood sugar brain on top of that...your thought process is CRAZY!!
I called the school office....
The receptionist verified with Maddison’s Teacher while I was on hold that she was NOT there. Maddison was NOT in class for morning attendance, and she is not there NOW!!!! Did I mention it is now 11am and I dropped Maddison off 3 hours ago!!??
I am about to vomit. WTF do you mean she isn’t there!!??
My blood sugars are lowish, and I cant even fully comprehend what this crazy chick just told me. All I could think was "what kind of fucked up trick is this?" Yes, my lowish brain actually said that OUTLOUD!!! Maddison is NOT in class. Maddison is NOT in class. Maddison is NOT in class...
I just hung up. I didn’t know what else to do. I called the school nurse...
The first thing I said to her was...
Is Maddison there?
“No” said the Nurse.
That’s all I heard.
At that point, my lowish brain shut down and didn’t understand because it was too busy freaking out to listen any further....
In my mind the Nurse was just mumbling at this point.
I explained to the Nurse about the phone call I got from the attendance line....
My brain was blank.
“NO”.....what do you mean NO Maddison isn’t there?
And then I finally came to and realized she was telling me Maddison WAS NOT THERE now, but was a few minutes ago. She didn’t mean that NO Maddison wasn’t there TODAY.
Its crazy that my mind just stopped at NO....
HOLY SHIT, She IS THERE!!!!!???
Of course she is!!!!
Talk about confusion!!!
I blame the Diabetes. I was low. I was worried. I couldn’t process what anyone was REALLY saying. –Sigh-
Apparently Maddison went straight to the nurses office upon arriving at school today. She had a headache. She laid down for about 20 minutes, which caused the teacher to mark her absent. When the receptionist called to ask if Maddison was in class, the teacher said no because she wasn’t in class RIGHT NOW......
What that damn receptionist SHOULD HAVE ASKED THE TEACHER was if Maddison had been in class at all TODAY.