Thursday, May 26, 2011

Turbo Charged

By far the thing I hate most about having Diabetes is when insulin becomes turbo charged. "Turbo charged" happens when you have active insulin from a food or correction bolus and then you decide to do some kind of unexpected exercise, go shopping, clean house, do yard work or even just go for walk. In the mornings I cannot have a drop of "active insulin" during my workout or I will go low and stay low, which is why I pretty much have to roll out of bed and onto the treadmill. WITHOUT my morning coffee. UGH. Sometimes, it really irritates me that I have to "plan" everything around "active insulin." Sure, I get to enjoy my coffee AFTER my workout.....but SHEESH!

I can decrease basals, bolus half the carbs. If I do ANYTHING super busy with "active insulin" I will still go low. I despise having to eat more food in order to do what I want to do, when I want to do it!!

Trying to hike lately has been a bitch. Today I was 238 with .3 active after dinner. I intentionally bolused about 20c less than I should have when I ate so I could hike without going low. Within 10 minutes of hiking I was 94. I sucked down 15c of Gatorade while cursing to myself that I hate this damn disease. Im just trying to hike a damn mountain! GEEEEZZZZZ!!! So, now I feel like crap. I have no energy. I eat an apple while continuing up. (Im sure people thought I was a weirdo hiking and eating) My legs are like jello. I eat a protein bar. Then more gatorade, followed by a pack of skittles. Temp basal decrease. I want to SCREAM because I am NOT hungry and I dont want to eat!! I just want to HIKE and my body isnt co-operating!!! So I have to sit. While people zoom by me. Which makes me jealous. Which makes me feel totally guilty for feeling jealous. -Sigh-

50c later and zero active Im 178. Now I feel like a bloated cow from eating all this extra crap, and Im just totally pissed. I hike the mountain irritated the whole way, disgusted that my body deceives me like this. In the end Im 94. Still with a temp basal, I end up too low at 62 within a few hours. This happens to me ALL the time!! Washing the car, doing the yard work, cleaning doesnt matter how I plan or what I consume, if I have any active insulin and I decide to be active it becomes turbo charged and I go low. And stay low. BUT, If I start these things with ZERO active insulin I will be fine. FINE! Thats what you call activity induced TURBO CHARGED insulin.

And its REALLY ticking me off lately.

Monday, May 23, 2011


Ohhh the first day of the new Summer schedule at our house! I must say, parents that leave “D” at home in the summer months have so much more to worry about than our kids just watching too much TV or playing too many video games! Last night when I should have been sleeping, my mind was going through all the questions……

Will Maddison bolus like she knows she should for everything she eats? What if she thinks she can go ahead and guess carbs herself without calling me first? Will she check her sugar with a clean finger? Will she recheck a number that seems wrong? What if she forgets she already bolused something, then boluses again? Will she immediately go to check her sugar when she feels low? Or will she be too busy doing something fun? I know **I** myself have a bad habit of ignoring lows until they take over….she is only 10!! Will Maddison choose the wrong carb to treat a severe low with? What if she chose something that isn’t fast acting enough like chocolate? Will Maddison be honest in her amounts of sugar she takes for a low? Or will hunger take over causing her to over indulge, which will in turn cause a high? I can see how this summer I could be changing basals and ratio’s around something that isn’t accurate…..accuracy is SO important!

The worst thoughts by far; What if Maddison DOES wait too long to check when she is feeling low and ends up confused and headed towards an emergency situation, will her sister even notice? What if her sister fell asleep? If Maddison had a seizure would her sister use the Glucagon? Would she remember amidst the panic to try to rub gel on her gums?

I don’t fret the highs like I fret the lows. If anything, Maddison will be low, not high. It’s the darn lows that cause worry. It’s the lows that are emergent NOW. My biggest fear this Summer when I am away at work is that Maddison could fall asleep or take a nap after eating, which would mean she has a ton of insulin working. She doesn’t wake up when she is low…..Oh, how I wish I didn’t have to think these things! But this COULD BE reality when you leave D home alone in the summer.

I have to remember that Maddison has matured in many ways this past year and takes pride in her responsibilty of taking care of herself. She has been awesome with bolusing, and still to this day has only forgotten to bolus once. She knows the importance of clean fingertips with each poke. She knows not to sneak food, cuz Momma ALWAYS knows. She knows I just ask that she BOLUSES FOR IT if she must have it, AND she knows better than to throw some crazy unknown bolus into her pump to cover something that doesn’t have a carb count. (she learned this the hard way) I know she will be a great Pancreas while I am away. Its not that. Its just the dang lows that worry me, especially with all her insulin needs changing RIGHT NOW because of the new summer schedule!

The good news is, Dad is home with them one day of their week, and most weeks I can compress my hours into just 3 days for the summer. Which *should* mean that Diabetes is only left home alone 2 or three days a week. I know, Im all dramatic for 2 or 3 days a week….but hey….this is my child and lows CAN BE serious! I wish people understood that! I get the impression that my coworkers think I'm a weirdo for worrying about my 10 and 14yr old left home on summer days. If they only knew it's not just taking a shot when you eat!

So, this morning I was off to work leaving Maddison in charge of managing her own Diabetes. Of course this meant I couldn’t just leave the kids to sleep in. Nope, not with a child that has Diabetes! The plan was to at least get breakfast into maddi before I left, but she wasnt hungry....and she was 76. Nothing a tad of chocolate milk wouldn't fix :) It was nice having the kids in school knowing Diabetes was managed by our fabulous school nurse, but now the chaotic summer begins!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Month (!!!!!!!!!)

WOW! Its been nearly a month since I blogged last! Simply said, I haven't had much to say. Diabetes has been amazingly "easy" and uneventful for both Maddison and I, which is awesome because Maddison has an Endo appointment next week! Maybe for once I will actually agree with the A1c results! (I always think it comes back lower than it should be)

We have also been very busy with the end of Hannah's club Vball season (Hannah lead the team to place 9th out of 65 Regional teams!) and Maddison completed Beginner 1 agility classes with her ferocious little Callie. Callie and Maddison have moved on to level 2 training which ends in just two weeks! Of course....It is also baby bird season ya know!
From birds

This year Maddison (and her Momma Pancreas) have been putting in extra hours at Fallen Feathers Bird Rescue. This is Maddison's 4th year volunteering! Maddison has moved up from being the designated Duckling care taker to an all around "bird rehab" girl. Maddison spends time every day after school doing anything and everything that needs to be done to keep Fallen Feathers residents happy and healthy. Last week Maddison even missed a day of school to help Fallen Feathers present educational programs at a few local schools! By far, Maddison's favorite part of volunteering! This has been a crazy busy season of Ducklings!
From ducklings

I can FINALLY say Im back into my good old morning workout routine (which helps the real "ME" fall back into place) I cant believe its been over a YEAR since I've routinely done any workouts!! GASP!!! My jiggly jello legs are quickly shaping back up after just 3 weeks, the "muffin tops" Ive been sporting lately are shrinking quickly, AND I have my ZOOM back! Thank goodness for interval training and free weights! Goodbye to lazy winter couch days, and ignoring the chores that sit and wait. Hallelujah. With workouts come less of a spike in my numbers after eating, and the best part is my "diet" improves dramatically (who wants to eat crap after a butt busting workout?) and cravings for all the carby junk foods diminish. (Unless its PMS week of course!) I'm back to ME with 99% of my sugar checks coming in under 120!!! Thank goodness I'm finally back to ME!!

Tomorrow is the last day of school!! Maddison will officially walk away from 4th grade and Hannah will be a SOPHOMORE next year. -Sigh- Where have my baby girls gone?
With school ending that means DIABETES CAMP is just a few short weeks away. As each day passes I think Im closer and closer to freaking out. 7 days!! Maddison will be gone for 7 days!!!!!!

Im not worried about Maddison having highs. In fact, I'd love it if her numbers hung around 200 for the entire 7 days. That would be safe. I am TERRIFIED of lows in the night! TERRIFIED!! I just dont understand how for 7 days a total stranger is going to take my place as her Pancreas. Camp will mean hiking, biking, swimming, excitement, running, jumping, horse riding, boating, fishing, new foods, even different weather JUST AS everything begins to change from the school year ending and summer beginning! Im terrified of her going low at night, 100 miles away at camp!!! How will I ever sleep that week?

Maddison is SO excited for camp, but I just want to pretend this isnt for real. I am excited for her, but yet terrified at the same time. If I know my Maddison, she will be aching to come after day 3 or 4. Oh why oh why cant camp be just 3 or 4 days long?

I just realized our pump warranty is up June 4th, the same day Maddison leaves for camp! -GASP- I better get on the phone with Medtronic, two brand new purple REVELS are in our very near future :)

And last but not least, tomorrow as I pick up Maddison from her last day of school I already know I will have to fight back tears. This will be Maddison's last year at the school that has kept her safe and healthy since her diagnosis in first grade. We will be moving out of district this Summer, and I'm emotional right now as I think about it! Leaving our school Nurse is leaving the comfort of knowing Maddison is in the care of someone who not only "gets it" but also knows Maddison inside and out. Our school nurses can tell when Maddison "looks" low. They trust her when she says she is dropping. They know when she has "forgotten" to clean her finger before a poke. They know when she is not acting like herself. They know her pump. They know PE days. They know when she is trying to get out of Math. They know!!

Our school nurse (and Nurses Aide) have been a HUGE contributing factor to Maddison's health (they always knows how to "bump" Maddi up a tad without over doing it!) and Diabetes attitude all these years. Our school nurse knows Maddison AND her Diabetes **almost** as well as I do. :) Our school Nurse has helped Maddison grow into a more responsible and confident child with Diabetes. She has talked Maddi through hard times when she was angry with school and responsibilities. She has taught Maddison so much over the past 5 school years, that I honestly dont know where to begin. Our school Nurse has been THE MOST important person in Maddison's school life. (We always get the crazy teachers!) Words could never say enough how much I appreciate and adore them.

On the other hand, the sadness (and fear!) of leaving our Nurse is mixed with optimism for Maddison's academic future. I'm certain that academically Maddison will FINALLY be in the right place next year for 5th grade. (We already have her Variance approval) We have struggled with our current school every year trying to get Maddison the special education services that she needs, despite having an IEP. Some schools just dont "get it" when it comes to the "No Child Left Behind" act. I have no doubt in my mind that Maddi's new school will be a much needed change to better her education.

So thats whats up in a month! Bring on the Summer of CHANGE. :)