Dad is currently 42 hours post surgery, we have already been warned that this is the hardest day. Lots of pushing him to breathe. To eat. To cough. Dad did GREAT overnight, except he was quite vulgar and angry with his male nurse. The first thing he said to me this morning was "That nurse is so mean to me, please stay with me, dont leave." I asked Dad why the nurse was so mean, and he said because "I was mean to him." I told him that this is a new day, with a new nurse. I told him they understand the anger and frustration. Move forward, only think of himself and don't worry about anyone else.
Dads talking alot today. Everything he says is heartbreaking. He is pleading in pain, and telling me how bad he feels. Then he apologized for "releasing his sorrows on me." All I could do was tell him thats why I'm here. He says he doesnt remember yesterday. Thats good. I hope he never remembers today either. He has already been up to walk today and walked alot! He is coughing strongly. Breathing well. All vitals are remarkable. Every time I tell him how good things are going his eyes light up and he says "Wow"
My mom, sisters and I finally slept decently the first time last night. We feel refreshed and more able to stay strong. Praying Dad does too.
OH....let me mention...... The Diabetes police hit me at the wrong moment this morning. They really shouldnt say anything when I'm in this emotional state....The girls are here at the hospital with me today..... They just hang out in the waiting area with us so I can still be here. I took the girls to the cafeteria first thing this morning. They got bacon, eggs, milk, apples and a donut. Paying in line, the cashier saw my JDRF shirt and asked if I work for them. I said "No, my daughter, Dad and I all have Type 1".....I COULDNT BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THE RN BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!!!!???????She said "WHO ARE THE DONUTS FOR THEN?"
I spun around and gave the most evil look. I think I even grew horns for a moment. I couldnt help it. It was a reaction gone bad. I'm so ashamed of myself for the way I responded, but I'm stressed out here people!! I said "FUCK YOU LADY, you have no right to speak one word about the food ANYONE eats." How terrible is that? I guess I really am an emotional basket case! I felt like such a loser! I rambled on as everyone stared at me. I felt like the scum of the earth at the moment. I went on saying we dont eat donuts everyday, I showed her my pump, asked her if she knew anything about Type 1 Diabetes, told her all kinds of stuff. I dont really remember half of what I said, but I know it wasn't nice. I was the freaky person losing it in the cafeteria today. Man, how embarrassing. Stress does funny things to you!
Moving my blog again
5 years ago