Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The last week

Oh my goodness! I couldn't believe it when I realized THIS is the last week I technically have to prepare for back to school madness!! I was sitting at work with nothing to do (again) and realized I dont have time to sit around and do nothing!! I have to get to work on Maddison's Diabetes info for teachers! For the bus driver! For the special teachers.....AHHHHHH!!!!!!! No time to waste!

Our summer vacation always seems to fall the week before back to school, causing me to zoom around like a wild maniac trying to get everything done. We leave Friday early morning for San Diego....for 5 days!! ACK!! I would have been happy with 2-3 days away! Returning on Tuesday evening of next week leaves me in a serious rush! Not only do I need to get back to work for month end ASAP, but Josh works the following day which leaves me without child care! Maddison also has her 3 month Endo appt that day all the way downtown that we just cannot miss! I'm planning on working half a day after Maddison's appt. The following day I have to meet with Maddisons teacher and stock the school nurses office. Then its meetings to review the 2009 IEP. Meet the teacher night....all in one short week after returning from vacation. Dont we always need a vacation from a vacation?

Oh well, extra caffeine for me! Today I finished the "What is Type 1 Diabetes" info for all Maddison's new teachers. I completed the whole Hypo/Hyper information, a list of symptoms, explained how out of range numbers interfere with cognitive abilities, and covered all the million other things that us parents have to think about when sending our T1 kids back to school. WHAT A RELIEF! Initially when I sat down to get started I was totally overwhelmed. Where do you start? How do you fit years of Diabetes knowledge into a short note for the teachers? This last 2 weeks of vacation are going to be killer!

Tomorrow is my last day to get things done around here before leaving for "vacation" Friday. In the morning we are attending a JDRF breakfast with a new corporate sponsor. Great way to get up and out early! Then we will stop by the school to peek at the newly posted class lists and go school supply shopping! ACK! You should see the 8th grade list for Hannah! Ridiculous! Where did June and July go?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

3rd grade

Today I took a few minutes to send an email to the school principal. I wanted to ask that they consider a few things before choosing Maddison's teacher for this year. Mainly, I wanted to stress that a classroom located in the portable buildings isn't the safest choice for Maddison, being that a hike from building to building isn't smart if/when Maddison complains of feeling low. I also wanted to mention that I expect to "approve" of Maddison's teacher this year, and would appreciate knowing a few days ahead of time who her teacher is so Maddison and I can meet with her BEFORE our IEP meeting.

You see, I'm sorry, but Maddison has fallen through the cracks one too many times. Maddison will NOT have an inexperienced teacher again, and I will not allow Maddison to be humiliated in class again by a teacher who makes it clear she is irritated by the interruptions of Diabetes!

We have always seemed to get the inexperienced teachers! In Kindergarten Maddison's teacher went on maternity leave come January. The teacher that took her place JUST finished school, I'm guessing she was around 20 or so. (Nothing wrong with that) but it wasn't the best fit for a child that struggled with attention issues (not to mention Diabetes symptoms set in at this time)and although I wanted to have Maddison repeat Kindergarten, she assured me Maddison would be fine. On to 1st grade then. In first grade Maddison had a GREAT teacher, but it was her first year teaching as well. This teacher was scatter brained, stressed out and disorganized. She was great to Maddison, but once again Maddison fell through the cracks as far as her education. This teacher just couldn't keep up with Maddison's missing work, missing class time for being newly diagnosed and such. It was a mess. Then Maddison was diagnosed with Diabetes and ended up repeating 1st grade because I KNEW she wasnt ready to move up. When repeating 1st grade Maddison had yet another 1st year teacher, not to mention another 20 something young lady, with no children of her own. She was a great person, but once again, Madison struggled. No one stopped to identify or mention Maddison's difficulties in class. I had to call a meeting myself, to address my concerns of her less than average performance. It was then that they finally agreed to have Maddison complete all assessment testing and she eventually ended up with an IEP for OHI. (Other health impared)

Then there was last year. Ms S. Previous music teacher, no classroom experience, no children of her own. I know a good teacher is a good teacher, regardless of having their own children or not, BUT what about experience to identify children that need some extra support? (and YES, I do realize how overworked our teacher are!)Anyway, last year in 2nd grade was the worst. Maddison was belittled on several occasions in front of her classmates. This teacher had inappropriate responses to Maddison's needs and concerns. Being that I wanted to keep close tabs on Maddison's work since she was considered "at risk" since all the formal testing, I requested a weekly report from Ms S. I think I got maybe 5 sent home all year!! Any work incomplete from missing class time was to be sent home so we could complete it together. For a week this teacher cooperated. Then it was a constant fight with Maddison's assigned case manager to have anything sent home that I asked for. I would remind, then get one days memo. Then not the next. What a mess. I literally had to go into the classroom every single day to get a written weekly report!

Off track there.....this is supposed to be a HAPPY post today, I'm not looking back...I'm looking forward. 3rd grade will be a better year! To my surprise, this evening I received an email back from the school principal. I'm sooo relieved!!! Maddison has been placed in Mrs M's class, a teacher with over 30 years teaching behind her. Mrs M was also Hannah's teacher several years ago!!! We already know all about Mrs M!!! We already loved her years ago, AND when Maddison was diagnosed with Diabetes years back Mrs M came to me and offered her "condolences"!!!!! Can you see me jumping for joy??!! Mrs M has a classroom in the main building near the nurse's office, which makes nurse visits even speedier! (hopefully) It turns out our cherished school nurse already suggested Mrs M for Maddison this year because she wanted to make sure Maddison wasn't in the portables! I LOVE OUR SCHOOL NURSE!!

3rd grade.....3rd grade.....I've been in some serious denial that 3rd grade is coming. As Wendy said......there is so many things on a parents mind when our children with Diabetes return to school! Anyone who has followed my blog in years past knows of the difficulties Maddison has in school. She is a school hater. She's bored in class. Maddison is very intelligent, but a traditional school setting is just not in her best interest. Add Diabetes with its ups and is hard for Maddison. She's an entirely different person in the classroom than she is at home. She's shy. Passive. Doesn't speak up. The good thing is, last night Maddison told me this year she wants to love school. She told me that she knows being a Vet or a Pediatricain means ALOT of college, so she's planning to make 3rd grade different this year. She said she will try to LOVE school. I HOPE that she does!

One email just made my day! I'm so relieved to hear Maddison has Mrs M. I feel like half the stress of back to school has been taken from my shoulders. Now for the schedule. I wonder what the lunch/recess schedule looks like? An extra hour is also added to Maddison's day this year. The bus ride home will be with her sister. YAY! I dont have as much to worry about if Maddison is on the bus with her older sister! Two weeks until school starts......I'm staying optimistic!! 3rd grade WILL be a better year for Maddison!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Why all of a sudden? A bunch of random thoughts .

Tonight Maddison needed a site change. The last few times have been tough with her complaining, refusing and being a bit tearful. Why the sudden fear of needles? Tonight Maddison cried that she is tired of having Diabetes, and wants it to go away. Of course she's been running too high since the afternoon, which I'm sure brings about the yucky feelings even more so. All I could do was give Maddie a hug and then tell her I agree and understand. I really do understand. I think my own Diabetes makes it somehow easier for Maddison to accept. Honestly, days like today I'm "happy" I have Diabetes right along with her.

Last night was day 2 of Midnight-2am basal increases for Maddison. I wish I could say that I saw progress, but a late night swim at 10pm interfered. Swim = hunger. Hunger = snack. A snack too late at night. A sure way to induce a high for Maddison. Numbers have been great lately (besides 12a-5am) so snack time it was! A nice 142 at midnight. 285 at 2am, then 419 at 4am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That can't be right! Laying in the bed unattached was Maddison's pump. How it came disconnected is beyond me. LUCKY I woke up to recheck that 2am correction...and people wonder why I still wake up so many times at night to check numbers! I just CANT have Maddison start the day high. I just can't. I also just can't leave her high over night when she'll sit around at some crazy number for hours. Not my idea of maintaining her health in the long run.

Stomach pain. Maddison is back to having stomach pain every day. So much for the belief of stress induced stomach issues. There isnt any stress here in the Summer!I'm calling the Endo in the morning for a new lab script. Our next appointment is in two weeks anyway. I'm not waiting until September's scheduled lab draw. If we rule out the big Celiac word, then I'll proceed to the PCP if the stomach pain persists. YIKES.

Lego Land. Friday morning we leave for San Diego. Last minute trip to enjoy the beach a few days and Lego Land! I'm so excited for the girls! Stressed about leaving our army of pets, but excited.

School!!!!! August 10th. I'm SO not ready! Its still too hot. We still haven't done any shopping. Still don't have the supply list. Still dont have a lunch plan. I want to change the way Maddison is bolused for lunch. She currently goes in to check before lunch, gets a bolus for HALF the carbs and then returns with her eaten/uneaten lunch for the remainder bolus if any. I HATE that she has to go BACK for the remainder bolus. #1 because I prefer to pre-bolus every HALF after eating drives me nuts. #2 Maddison misses more free recess time having to go back to the nurse for carb counting. In a perfect world Maddison would eat every bite of lunch and we could just bolus it all right away. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm not sure what the answer is. Its just never easy with Diabetes at school is it? Dual wave bolus maybe? I dont know. I'm overwhelmed trying to find a better answer.

WORK!! In the summer I work just 16 hours a week, the two days that the husband has off work and stays home with the kids. Currently our office has lost 6 Physician billing contracts which means I have to FIND work to do even with reduced hours. SCARY. As school starts I will need to work my regular 25hrs a week, and right now, they cant offer me any additional hours. SCARY. Ideally, I'm trying to find another at home medical billing job. Hard to find. VERY hard to find.

QUAILS! Our Quail chicks are growing fast! They have just started to grow the wing and tail feathers! They are so darn cute, but I'm worried they like us a bit too much!

Night 3. Tonight is night 3 of basal changes. PLEASE let me see some kind of improvement! I'm guessing it will take another few days. Then we will be on vacation which means sugars are likely to be wonky anyway. Then school will start. So, everything will change again anyway with wake/sleep patterns! Looks like I will be Chasing overnight numbers for quite awhile. I shudder to think of school starting. That means not only night time numbers will be off, but daytime too. That's when I start to lose it! :) Give me one good time of day and I stay sane. Throw crazy numbers EVERYWHERE and I really get irritated! Wish me luck tonight! Its basal testing night! The planned checks are Midnight, 1am, 2am and 3am. Can you say Starbucks Double shot esspresso for the morning?

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Maddison's last blood sugar check was at 1am, she was a nice 138. My next alarm is set for 5am. I'm hoping I don't see another huge spike staring back on her meter screen this time. Somewhere around 4am, a vision of a giant meter invaded my peaceful sleep. All I could see was this meter in my dream, it must have been as big as a house. Nothing else, just a great big meter in my dream, which showed the number 35. I literally woke up with a gasp, confused about the time, and wondering if I had missed Maddison's scheduled check. Nope, its just I'm freaked out and have to check Maddison anyway. Still in a bit of a panic from the dream, my mind raced as I wondered if Maddison was going to be THAT low. Did I have that dream for a reason?

Apparently not. Maddison was 278. ACK! Of course then I couldn't get back to sleep. My mind was invaded by a combination of being freaked out over the dream and irritated that Maddison again spiked to such a number. I wanted to climb out of bed and look through Maddison's log. I wanted to fix that spike NOW! Damn Diabetes. I tossed and turned debating which time frame of Maddison's basals need to be adjusted. Is it Midnight? 1am? 2am? Ugh. The invasion of Diabetes thoughts didn't stop there. I worried about Maddison going back to school. WHY do we start school when the temperature outside is still 110 degrees? How will that recess heat effect Maddison's insulin dosing THIS year? Will the insulin get too hot? Oh no.....what about 3rd grade? The kids get meaner and meaner each year it seems! We had such a miserable year last year! PLEASE make this a better year for Maddison!

Maddison had a crazy teacher last year. A MEAN teacher. A teacher who made Maddison feel like she could never be good enough. UGH. I just want to stop all this worry and go back to sleep! But the thoughts kept coming. I was trying to plan a better way to keep Maddison from escaping to the nurse's office 8 times a day. I was debating over classroom blood sugar tests. Wondering if I could give Maddison more responsibility, or is this not the time? Will she have a teacher that "understands" her? OH PLEASE LORD tell me that our school nurse is returning! Then my mind shifted to the birthday party at the neighbors house today....with that damn trampoline! The last few days I've learned Maddison needs 20c for each half hour of jumping. She'll be fine, now CAN I PLEASE JUST GET TO SLEEP?

4am and the damn Diabetes thoughts took over!! Hours later I finally fell back to sleep, irritated that Diabetes is always there. Always in the back of my mind. Waking me from my sleep. Causing me more back to school stress than imaginable. Missing the "simple" life. Knowing that I'm doing my best every-single-day. Wondering if in 20 years "my best" will be enough. Hoping that this year Maddison is happy in school.....on and on and on until I couldn't worry anymore!

Friday, July 24, 2009

9 Little fishes and 3 Free Ducks

We have had a few overcast days in Az lately, making today a perfect morning to set out early in the nice "cooler" 100 degree weather before the clouds run away and the temperature hits 112 or so! Maddison had 3 ducks at the rescue to release today at a neighborhood pond, so we set out on the first adventure for the day, but much later than I had planned. That Maddison still likes to sleep until 9!! With just TWO WEEKS until school starts, I can already see how school mornings will be!

So first thing, ya gotta CATCH those ducks in their cages in order to set them free. Thats always interesting. A wild and messy chase, thats for sure! After arriving at the pond, those stinky ducks didn't want to leave the crate when we opened the door. Maddison had to coax them out one by one, then tried to convince me that we need to find a "farm" for them to live on! Silly Maddison.....she always wants a farm for all these ducks. She's convinced the Coyote's will eventually get 'em! I can't say they won't around here, thats for sure! Swim duckies, SWIM!

This afternoon Hannah and her volleyball partner wanted to go to "open gym" at a nearby Rec center that has a really nice fishing area. Perfect! The girls can play their 3hours of volleyball while Maddison I enjoy this overcast day fishing! In less than an hour, Maddison caught 9 little Blue Gills! She was sooo proud! That last little fishie really had the hook stuck way down in his tummy, so I had to cut him loose. He ended up dying....floating to the Maddison decided that was enough fishing for the day. Despite the poor dead fishie, Maddison assured me what a nice summer day we had!

In blood sugar land, Maddison is doing really well during the day, thanks to the fact that we cut out the unpredictable foods and eating out. A couple of lows mid-morning, but no more highs. I finally had to put my foot down with the hubby. NO FAST FOOD on your days home with the kids!!! Sheesh! I hate when my kids eat french fries all the time! Yesterday Maddison didnt have one out of range number. That doesn't happen often, so when it does, it just makes my day :) AMAZINGLY..... I even got the hours of swimming just right. Still more miraculous, the kids spent about an hour on the neighbors new trampoline RIGHT AFTER DINNER. We used to have a trampoline, and I secretly HATED that thing! It seemed every time Maddison would jump she would be low low low IMMEDIATELY, then she would rebound staying high for way too long. Nothing I did worked. I guess you REALLY use those leg muscles jumping! I had to give in on trampoline days and plan ahead of time to run her quite higher to avoid the lows! I was sooo happy when that trampoline started to fall apart in the summer sun! I'm terrible....I know!! Anyway, before yesterdays jumping I gave Maddison 20c of Gatorade. (uncovered) She was the same 130 after jumping as she was when she started! WOW. Amazing. I'm so grateful for even one "perfect" Diabetes day!

And then again....Maddison hit 310 somewhere around 2am this morning. Funny thing, the night before she hoovered between 88 and 130. Why the every other day spike after 1am? Was it the snack I let her have too late at 9pm? Was it all the days activity telling her muscles they need a burst of glucose from good ole' Mr Liver? -sigh- I can't complain, things have been so much better lately. ((knock on wood)) Next challenge.....our vacation in San Diego next week!! 2 days at the beach and 2 days at Legoland. Hmmmmm....can you say temp basal?

(Oh, by the way.....can we bring in a cooler of water and juice because of the Diabetes???)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Some of my old posts

"Way back Wednesday" my blog posts from the past few years......

Halloween and Diabetes(Maddison's news artice!)

1 in 300

The Birthday Invitation

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tea for two

Yesterday Maddison and I had the day to spend alone together, as we do often now that Hannah's always having sleepovers with her best friend. Our house, her house....back and forth nearly every other day. Its nice to be able to spend so much time one on one with Maddison, but I sure miss my Hannah!! Maddison decided to take advantage of our time together. She planned a tea party for us all by herself!!

Maddison and I had spent the morning running errands which included a trip to Home Depot to buy chicken wire to cover the "Quail Sanctuary" we planned to build. After an hour moving some old bricks around from the side of the house (and sweating profusely in the 112 degree heat!) we proudly completely Maddison's Quail Sanctuary! I think I forgot to mention that we still have the 3 baby quail chicks from last Fridays 1-2-3 findings!!We have the go ahead from Mrs Jodi herself to be the foster parents for the chicks! She trusts Maddison's knowledge (and responsibility) to care for the chicks full time in our home! Look at this picture of them snuggled tight under Maddison's stuffed Quail!! Its been a fun few days with the chickies, they have survived the most important first few days!Funny how these babies sleep isn't it?

Then it was FINALLY time for tea! But first, Maddison has her eye on some old Bananas. She pulled out the cookbooks and we decided to make some banana bread to have with our tea party!! Then, staring at us on the next page was a recipe for Zucchini bread....did I mention Maddison's self grown garden has been profusely abundant with great big yummy Zucchini's? What a green thumb she has! I havent even had to remind her once to water her garden! Zucchini bread it is!

We had a wonderful tea party!!
Maddison went all out with a "party platter" of fruits and veggies too. She even tried them!
A HUGE deal if you know Maddison my picky eater!
What a great day spent with Maddison. Now I think I need a date with just my Hannah!

A big plus to our Tea party day was the fact that Maddison's blood sugars were perfectly in range since midnight, and perfect all day! Not one out of range number for an entire day :) I guess I estimated the carbs right too in the yummy breads we made! YAY! Of course, Diabetes must always remind it is there....Maddison hit 298 somewhere around 5am this morning. No idea why. Just because. The same time frame the day before was fine. Why that happens, I'll never know. It just does. Weird thing Diabetes is!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

1-2-3 what do quail have to do with Diabetes?

After Friday mornings quail excitement, I realized that Maddison has suddenly started having "adrenaline" highs. Yep. Never had a problem before! Or, at least I never realized it. Maddison was in range all that night, until morning AFTER the quail rescue got her all excited. She went from 120 at her last check to 230. Not typical for a morning spike, possible of course.....but who knows. (she also hit a high after the hummingbird adventures, which I blamed on a rebound) I'm blaming the excitement from the quail, an adrenaline high. And guess what! I saw it again Friday NIGHT! BECAUSE.......

1 more baby quail chick! YES! Another baby quail for Maddison to rescue. Some neighbor boys were playing outside after dark and a tiny quail chick came following them! Of course they knew where to find Maddison :)In this picture even Roxxie our Golden was excited and had to see what was causing such a ruckus! Anyway, as we wondered around with flashlights in the bushes trying to find Mama quail, the boys came running up with ANOTHER baby quail!! #2!!!!!!!!!!!!!We were SURE that Mamma must be around, but after nearly an hour trying to find her, we called it a night and decided to take the babies to the rescue.
Baby Quail chicks are one of few baby birds that hatch and are up and running, ready to go. BUT, they must have parents to teach them to survive. ((they have to go to the bird rescue in order to have a chance at survival)) As we were walking inside the house.......a #3 baby quail came chasing after us!
SERIOUSLY!! If thats not an adrenaline rush for my Maddison the bird lover, I dont know what is. Maddison's prior BS check was 126.....AFTER the excitement, 338. Seriously. All these baby birds aren't gonna help our next a1c, but Maddison sure is happy! I think I'll start calling her the bird whisperer :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

All aboard the animal bus!

What a way to start the morning! Maddison's favorite way, a phone call from a neighbor friend that was out for her morning walk. What does she see? A baby quail that needs Maddison's help! Aren't baby quail chicks just the cutest thing?

Off to Jodi's bird rescue we go again! But wait..... Who is that following us? Oh geez. Please tell me it isn't so! Someone else thats lost? Someone that needs Maddison's help to find her way home.... I guess not everyone knows about the Coyotes that are dining on kitty cats in our neighborhood for dinner these days. All aboard the animal bus! Maddison must rescue you too! Turns out this kitty lives just down the street. Good thing, he sure loved Maddison and I don't think Dad or the Goldens would approve of this kitty joining our family :)

Blistered site

Anyone ever have the little blisters beside the injection site of pumps sets? OUCH. Maddison complained of this one on her upper bum for days. Not painful, just itchy. Diabetes made visible. Maddison's starting to have alot of battle wounds from pump sites. What used to be clear, flawless skin is now reddened with tiny dots and scars. This summer Maddison and I have been pumping for two years, yet I still hate seeing the marks that Diabetes leaves!

Summer in our house is still CRAZY. Still not on much of a schedule, but what matters most is the girls are entertaining themselves on off days when we dont have much planned. Maddison gets a reminder to turn the TV off after about an hour each day, and then she is happily on her way to play. All those pets are keeping her busy too! Most days you will find Maddison watering the garden, chasing lizards, "training" the Goldens, playing Vet, doing pet chores or just going through her closet looking for something new to do. Thats a big change from last summer when she complained of being bored so often! YAY! Summer has been a ton of fun this year, and the girls get along better than ever!

If you can find Hannah at home she is usually still spending too much time online. That would be a 12yr old girl. I guess all the time she spends playing Volleyball evens it all out. Hannah cleaned out her closet yesterday, WOW...what a mess that was. I guess Hannah is also finding things to do when she's bored. Like I said, what a change from last summer! Music, friends, going to the movies.....Hannah is nearing 13. YIKES. Hannah's been having sleepovers with a buddy from this years Volleyball team several times a week. Those two have become inseparable. Its nice to see the girls forming such a strong friendship! I was Hannah's age when I found certain friends who's relationships lasted years into adulthood. What a great thing for Hannah! Lately you can even find Hannah asking Maddison to play board games with her. Or, maybe you'll find them all crazy rolling around in my bed with the Goldens. Whatever it is the girls are finding to do this summer, you can bet they are impressing me more every day with their desire to stay busy! They really ARE just like me!

This afternoon we checked in with the hummingbird from Tuesday nights rescue. He/she survived the most critical 48 hours! YAY! The kids did great saving that hummingbird and Maddison is so proud! Speaking of Maddison, today she hasn't hit over 140 and lows are coming from every direction. Two lows today, but alot of numbers were caught that were soon to be lows. ICK. Highs, lows...same old story there! I'm guessing tomorrow will be interesting since we are back to the arm sites as of today for awhile. (That Bum needs a rest and some time to heal) I'm thinking arm sites work quite differently as far as absorption times with meals. As always, we shall see.

Diabetes for me is back to 90% in range numbers....scratch that.....I've had a low or two each day. I think thats partly due to the fact that I've been much more active and doing my housework and yard work, keeping the pool maintained as I should. Feeling better energy wise, which means I get more done in a day, which means my blood sugars are better too. Or is that Lot 8 again? Seems my numbers have gotten much better since starting on the replaced box of sets! Interesting. I'm actually considering going back on Lantus for awhile. For several reasons. #1 being the "shortage" of Quicksets for our pump since the whole Lot 8 Medtronic recall. I would FREAK if Maddison had to go back to Lantus because of a Quickset shortage. Not likely to happen, but hey....ya never know! I'd give that girl my pump sets for life if I had too! Lantus and Maddison don't mix! Reason #2....I cant stop eating. I'm not hungry all the time, but, I seem to have terrible food cravings and terrible eating habits lately. Maybe thats the lack of treadmill time I've been putting in? Why is it the more you eat the more you want to eat? The lazier you get the lazier you are? Being that my sensitivity to Lantus is TREMENDOUS (4 units a day) I wouldn't want to eat so much becuase, naturally, why would I want to take a shot of rapid insulin just to eat more? It seems all I do lately is bolus. Just because I can. Reach down, dial in the carbs and Ta-daaaa!! Its that easy to eat too much. I can see it. Right. There. On. My. Thighs. Maybe Lantus is what I need to kick me back into actually eating right? Too bad they don't have an injection for treadmill motivation!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

No such luck

Last night the girls wanted to use their Cold Stone Creamery (gourmet ice cream shoppe)gift card from Valentines day that Auntie bought them. Did you hear me crying out loud all the way over in your part of town? Ice cream and Maddison just don't get along. I've learned to bolus an extra unit to keep down the spike. (with a 250 sensitivity per unit thats ALOT of extra insulin to just throw in there!)I usually play around with a temp basal increase which helps....but at some point Maddison is likely to go low within the first 4 hours then still hit a high 5-8 hours later. Upon arriving home from work Maddison was 58. Three hours prior she was 67. Its 112 degrees is Phx and my girl just wants some dang ice cream! I can figure this out!!! The plan was to get aggressive with that dual wave, square wave or temp basal!

No such luck. Maddison started enjoying her ice cream with a blood sugar of 108. I planned on doing a nice big pre-bolus, but how long can you pre-bolus at 108? I usually end up kicked in the BEHIND on that one too when I take the aggressive approach. Instead of throwing in the extra unit for the CRAZY ice cream (my 1st mistake) I decided I'd set a temp basal 150% for 4 hours. Thats taking Maddison from a .25 per hour to a .35 which is ALOT for her. I'm guessing 70c.

Damn Diabetes! Picture me trying to kick myself. :) Its been a l-o-n-g night! An hour after the devilish delight, Maddison was 233.... With 1.4 units active AND a temp basal. I just dont get how ice cream is so secretely evil!!

11pm 3hrs post prandial= 337
1am 5hrs post prandial=283
230am 6.5 hrs post prandial=209

Somehow I turned my alarm off for the next 2 hour check.....Yes, I'm kicking myself yet again on this little ice cream parade!! By 6:30 this morning Maddison is STILL 238, and THIS explains why I avoid ice cream at all costs. UGH! I think we will stick to the low fat Skinny Cows!! Some foods just need to be avoided, or needs a 250% basal increase I suppose! ACK!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Thank you

After reading Kerri's blog today I feel much better. I always wonder if people actually live in such peace with their (childs) Diabetes, or if they feel that expressing the REAL emotions is a reflection of them that they don't want seen or heard by others in fear of being "judged" as a bitter or unhappy person. Some quotes from Kerri's blog today really made me feel like SOMEONE out there feels just like I do.

"Empowerment is being able to say that diabetes is hard and that it sucks sometimes, but still forging ahead and working towards better health." THANK YOU!!

"We can hate it, openly, and still remain positive." THANK YOU, thats my point in writing this blog! (though some days of course, I'm not feeling so positive!)We all know I'm open to saying F YOU DIABETES!! YOU MAKE ME CRAZY SOMETIMES!!!(ALOT OF TIMES!!)

"You can not like it and still do it. Hating it [diabetes] and doing it are not mutually exclusive states."


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Some days

Some days I just can't win. After swimming for 4 straight hours Monday night, Maddison was a nice 89 at bedtime. Too low though for sleeping, especially considering all the excersize. Temp basal and some juice....she was 127 at 1am. Thats when it all got a little crazy.

5am 289
8am 319 Check the site....the entire pump tubing is filled with an air line!!
10am 235
Noon 209
230pm 167
5pm 256
30 minute pre-bolus for dinner
730pm 48!!!!! 15c juice and 5 jelly beans for the .5 active
re-check the low
745pm 105 and STARVING. Cereal for a night time snack.
11pm and heading to bed.....370. Rebound? Ugh. Some days I just can't win. I'm sending Maddison to bed with a 1.1 unit correction. I wonder what I'll see for the
2am check? At this point I just HATE Diabetes today and can't wait to start over tomorrow!

Birdy 9-1-1

Around 9pm tonight our neighbor came to inform Maddison that her birdy expertise was needed! QUICKLY!! A tiny Hummingbird was found injured and in need of emergency treatment. Everyone knows Maddison is the girl for the job! Thank goodness Mrs Jodi from the rescue had given Maddison an "Emergency Hummingbird Kit" last year at her birthday party!!(Mrs Jodi came to Maddison's party with many feathers friends for an educational show)Maddison had several neighbor buddies here at the time, OHHHHH how excited they were to actually get to be a part of a REAL birdy emergency! Did I ever mention Maddison plays "VET" or "Animal Cops/rescue" every single day? Oh exciting indeed! In an instant Josh whisked all the kids off to the rescue!!!

After swooping up the tiny bird, Josh drove Maddison and all her friends to Mrs Jodi's bird rescue down the street. We are so lucky she lives just a mile from our house! You can see how proud Maddison feels in this picture....she's syringe feeding the Hummingbird :)
Did you know that Hummingbirds must eat every 15-30 minutes when they are awake? Yep! Maddison will tell you all about it!

So, Josh arrived at Mrs Jodi's with 4 overly excited kids, eager to see Mrs Jodi in action. It seems the Hummingbird may have an injured wing...only time will tell. Good thing we still volunteer every day! We will keep a close eye on this little one for sure. How cool that Maddison got to participate in yet another real live bird rescue! It totally made her night!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


This evening shortly after dinner I felt off. Maybe a low approaching? Not a strong feeling. Just a "hmmmmmm.....I must be hoovering in the lower range kind of feeling." Being that I've had several lows the past few days, (lot 8's??) I figured its better to check now than when I'm SURE I'm crashing. 46. Hmmmm, that's a very weird and unexpected 46. It didn't even have a defining "feeling." That's a bit scary. I always wonder how stressed and anxious I would be if one day I lost my ability to feel lows. How would you carry on normally? How could you drive safely? How could you exercise? Work in the yard? I guess the only answer would be a CGMS. I can't imagine!

Around 10pm Maddison said she felt low. A quick check revealed 260. She was just 288 an hour prior, I checked her then because I noticed she had gone to the restroom twice in an hour. I corrected that first 288, not before contemplating if I should just half correct or full correct. You see, swimming is again proving to be a major mess in this house. I've stuck to bolusing missed basal during swimming (the pump is disconnected for swimming) and SOMETIMES Maddison will be in range after. Sometimes she goes high 2-7 hours later. The other day I wised up and gave her .5 when she was done swimming. She ended up at 82. Perfect. Only that once. It hasn't worked since. So anyway, Maddison disagreed with her meter. She didn't believe the 288 was accurate, so we rechecked to find yet another high number.

Me: "What feeling are you having that makes you feel low Maddison?"

Maddison: "Its not a feeling mom!! It JUST IS LOW, IT DOESN"T HAVE A FEELING EVERY TIME!!

ME: Thinking..... YIKES Maddison, I know what you mean. It irritates me too when low doesn't really have a feeling. It irritates me when you see a high that you thought felt like a "low" and it irritates me that sometimes we dont have low feelings until its to late. Those lows are the hard ones to recover from!

FEELINGS, FEELINGS.....I'm tired of the range of feelings I have in a day lately. Just this morning I felt great. I got my chores done quickly, zoomed through the house with lots of energy and motivation. Then I spent time by the pool. Just me. Lots of time to think about EVERYTHING. I was right in the middle of pep talking myself into believing that all these crazy numbers Maddison is having isn't my fault. I felt good knowing that today I'm not placing blame on ME as my child's pancreas. For the first time in a long time I didn't feel guilt. I didn't feel anything about numbers. Numbers were just numbers for that moment. A little more pep talking, and I promised myself to stay optimistic. I prayed for strength. I asked for guidance. I felt like TODAY I would conquer these numbers. TODAY would be a better day, and we would start to find "stability" or "predictability" once again. Then Maddison came out to the pool.

Maddison joined me in an afternoon swim. I promised not to worry about what carbs she needed to get through swimming without going low. I promised to just go with it, correct if needed, treat a low if need be. But, I couldn't stop the worry. Swimming lately means Maddison is going to be high or low. There isn't an in between. All the Diabetes feelings came rushing back when Maddison's meter rang in at 62 hours later. DAMN DIABETES. Worry I do. Worry I must. How can I not worry when I have to make the decisions? This is my daughter, my child, my life. I have to continue trying to get things right. Every day. Day after day after day. No matter how many times we get kicked down, we get back up. Lately I feel like I can't win. I'm doing everything right, but every day is different. Feelings fly from one extreme to the other when I see what number that damn meter decides to flash. Sometimes I want to cheer. Sometimes I want to cry. Sometime I want to smash the meter to pieces and hide. But, I can't. Stuff down your feeling for one more day. Its always just one more day.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

1st new set from Medtronic/$$$$$$$$$$$

I must say, Medtronic has done awesome (for us anyway) as far as this whole recall thing is concerned. Last night we had 2 boxes (1 mine, 1 Maddisons) of new Quicksets delivered straight from Medtonic to our door by 6pm via UPS. Wasn't yesterday the
1st day of the Lot 8 recall? I'm very impressed with their speedy service and the fact that the new pump supplies had the return postage for the old recalled sets.

So, today we were on our way to the post office to return two of recalled infusion sets and one DEAD insulin pump. That easy. Thank goodness SOMETHING today with Diabetes was easy! Thank you Medtronic for making it simple!

HOWEVER....interestingly enough....last night around 11pm (long volleyball night) I replaced Maddison's recalled infusion set with a NEW set....and guess what?!! She was low at Midnight (64) then again at 2am (59) Good from 3am-8am and then low again at 9am (69) when waking up!! After breakfast Maddison was 223 because I used the normal breakfast ratio instead of the cereal ratio I should have used.....then she dropped to 86 TWICE by dinner time. MAKES ME WONDER. They say just 2% of the recalled infusion sets were malfunctioning.......Hmmmmmmmmmm. Coincidence?

More Diabetes craziness today! I tried to stop in to our usual Pharmacy for our insulin RX. NOPE. They won't cover a 3 month supply, I have to go mail order. (We save $80 doing 3 months at a time) As in, shipping insulin state to state. Did you know it's supposed to be 115 degrees in Phoenix on Saturday? How can I not be concerned that our insulin may become too hot during its travels from the Pharmacy to AZ? Cold packs? HA! I doubt that's safe! Our RX for insulin alone is $320, then another $320 for test strips. OUCH. OUCH. OUCH!!!!! And they won't allow me to get insulin during the 115 degree summer months from a LOCAL pharmacy?

UGH. So, I call in the mail order insulin RX! I don't really have a choice now do I?? The CS rep I spoke with mentioned that we have $160 balance from our last test strips mailed. Yes....I told her I never got a bill for that RX and when I placed the order online, the online ordering never prompted for a payment. I asked the CS rep about their billing procedure.... She stated that they don't send a bill....after 6 months without payment you will get a notice from the collections department.....WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Has anyone else had this kind of response from billing with Caremark/CVS???? So, I had $160 to pay for past due test strips.....$160 for the current insulin RX for Maddison....$160 for my insulin RX....and $160 x's 2 for My next 3 months strips AND Maddison's next 3 months of testing strips. $800 later....I'm disgusted. Broke. Mostly disgusted. And, now I wait to see if the insulin we receive mail order will be use able. 115 degrees people!!

Not done yet...I come home with the last weeks mail in hand. I should have waited until tomorrow to rip into the pile of medical bills that has also accumulated. I find...

$40 balance due to the RADIOLOGIST for my Mammo last month.

$40 balance due to the Breast Surgeon Specialist for my pre-op consultation weeks ago

$40 balance due to the PATHOLOGIST to diagnose my breast masses???!!!

$120 balance due from my kids dental exams last week

$15 SENT TO COLLECTIONS for lab work for my last A1c drawn in April....I NEVER GOT A BILL!!!I paid $30 at the time of service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$20 balance due to MEDCO, our old mail order pharmacy!!???

$369 balance due to PHX Childrens Hospital because our new insurance CANNOT IDENTIFY PATIENT!!?? From Maddison's Endo visit on 4/23/2009!!???

$34.78 balance due from the A1c test that day because the insurance CANNOT IDENTIFY PATIENT!!??

$470 to the Physician that completed my needle biopsy in June

$3,355 to the facility that CANNOT IDENTIFY PATIENT for my Mammo/Biopsy

$90 copay for my Mammo

$171.82 past due to Medtronic for pump supplies

SERIOUSLY. Our medical bill pile now outweighs and surpasses our montlhy bills. Of course, many of these bills are already paid or can be resolved by calling to make sure the idiots on the other side get our new insurance straight. Thats not the point. Diabetes is expensive. Insurance companies are evil. This is all FRUSTRATING. I deal with medical bills and medical claims all day at work. This is the last thing I want to manage at the end of the day. I guess its a good thing that I know what I actually owe, and I know what was processed incorrectly. That doesn't change the stress it leaves me. It also doesn't change the fact that our new insurance SUCKS and is leaving us in financial despair. Just to stay alive. Maddison and I need insulin to stay alive. We NEED those Test strips to know where our blood sugar is......what ridiculous insurance we have. Did I mention this new insurance is costing us DOUBLE at Josh's new employer? For HALF the coverage?

Income hasn't been increasing. In fact, in the summer I work 50% less to be home with my girls, to be home and manage Diabetes. I'm out hundreds of dollars a month to keep my child healthy. Medical expenses have doubled. Gas prices are back up. The economy sucks and things aren't getting any better. Damn Diabetes. Why are you everywhere I turn? I know there are so many others out there in this same type of situation, its heartbreaking!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Quickset recall!!!

Medtronic is recalling all quickset insulin infusion sets that start with LOT #8!!!A quick peek inside our supply closet reveals 13 of our 14 boxes ARE in fact lot 8!!! Medtronic states "We recently identified that approximately 2% of "Lot 8" Quick-set infusion sets used with MiniMed Paradigm insulin pumps may not work properly. Some of these infusion sets do not allow the insulin pump to vent. This can potentially cause too much or too little insulin to be delivered and may lead to serious injury or death."

YIKES. Wholy Moly! CRAZY! THIS IS WHY WE NEED A CURE! Can you say unexplained highs are now explained? Maybe, maybe not. Regardless of what the reason is for Maddison's wonky numbers....I wonder if that means I'll have to change all the recent changes I've made to Maddison's insulin dosing as we begin to use new un-recalled sets again? Medtronic also states they will ship one replacement box every 3 weeks due to the shortage of Quicksets they are now experiencing as a result of the recall. I'm surely not sending back ALL my boxes at once then!

Monday, July 6, 2009

All in a swim day

Monday afternoon we were sooo happy to have Wendy and the girls over for some summer swim fun! I tell ya..all those pictures of the Rose girls you see in Wendys blog just don't do justice! Addy, Maya and Kaelyn kept my girls LAUGHING over and over again all afternoon! Those little ones are too funny, they just made my day :) Beth and the kids came along too, pre-teens must hang out with other pre-teens ya know! Hannah and M....those two are growing up too fast!!
So whats happening on a HOT swim day when 3 kids and 1 mom all have Diabetes poolside? Well, I wish I could say Diabetes behaved without mention, but i can't. Ms Addy's 48 blood sugar during swimming broke my heart(sad when Diabetes interferes with fun!)but she seemed to not even notice the low as she happily sucked down her juice box within seconds. Then she was cheerfully on her way to find more fun. Maddison dropped from 146 to 72 within minutes of eating her lunch. Not a low per say, but with .8 units of insulin on board it was about to be! Thats called a good time for Gatorade and (gluten free)cookies poolside! Yes, lows are just a part of this game we play every day. Throw in some crazy swimming and I suppose we all did well considering we caught lows before they became SCARY!

Maddison's meter decided it was too hot outside (107 degrees people!) and wanted to be thrown in the ice chest zipper bag with all the insulin pumps to be kept cool.....See that tiny thermometer warning beside the number on the meter? Yep...even blood sugar meters don't do well in the heat! I wonder if that 146 mid-swimming was even accurate?

Then there's "M's" Navigator (continuous blood sugar monitor, displays BS reading every few minutes) that didn't behave as well as planned. Maybe it was the heat AGAIN? The Navigator wasn't picking up "M's" blood sugar readings as it should! UGH. Why are Diabetes devices so dang frustrating sometimes anyway? Picky Picky Picky! By the end of the swim day that darn Navigator sensor was barely hanging on.

And to end the swim day off in an even crazier appears that when the kids were scooping ice out of the ice chest (too throw in the pool) the zip lock bag containing 4 insulin pumps, two meters, and one Navigator receiver BURST OPEN. Yep, as in, all was WET. Nearly $20,000 of Diabetes equipment that was supposed to be tightly sealed atop the ice was partially submerged in melting ice water. The good news is, Addy's insulin pump was fine. "M's pump was fine too, but the meter attached to her Cozmo....DEAD. Maddison's Freestyle Lite meter that once complained of being too hot just minutes before, was now DEAD cold. My meter was fine. Navigator receiver was fine......My pump (still wet inside from our last swim date!!) is now barely hanging on. Maddison's pump however, started to scream out loud. Yep. The alarms sounded....and then.....Maddison's pump was DEAD.

And who again comes to my rescue? Who will save the day when my little girl now has a DEAD pump and must resort to Lantus AND Novolog injections until her new Pancreas arrives?WENDY of course!! My CHERISHED friend!! This is the second time in months that Wendy has come to my rescue! Last time my pump failed she insisted I come pick up a vial of Lantus (we didnt used to have a back up plan!)instead of resorting to Novolog injections every few hours to fend off ketones and stay ALIVE. This time, Wendy just so happened to have a brand new Medtronic pump stashed away in her closet thanks to Mr Sanders. Thank you Wendy for loaning us the pump for the night!!

YIKES. I'm thinking from now on I'm leaving the pumps and meters INSIDE the house on hot swim days no matter how many times I have to run back and forth to grab them for a quick sugar check or bolus of missing basal! Thanks to Medtronic's speedy CS department I had a new pump for Maddison delivered to my work this morning at 10am sharp. Just like they promised, just 16 hours after calling them, overnight air :)

With the new replacement pumps in hand, I had to program ALL Maddison's basals, ratios, targets, sensitivities and specifics into the new ones! Thank goodness I started logging again a few weeks back when everything with Maddison's sugars started to go wonky! Just days ago I had written down every pump setting in Maddison's pump and started adjusting everything imaginable to fight off the highs. Its been ALOT of work getting Maddison's numbers back on track the past few weeks.....Thank you log book! Without an updated log I wouldn't have had any idea what I have changed recently in Maddison's insulin doses! Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who has a log book that looks like THIS.....the log pages with all the highlighted numbers were HIGHS that needed attention. When I started this new blood sugar log three weeks ago Maddison's average was around 210. After lots of highlighting highs, adjusting and logging EVERY detail of Maddison's day, I can now say I have her back on track! Her meter average now shows 170. Not bad for just three weeks of logging and adjusting.

By dinner time Maddison's meter appeared to be dried out and ready to work. Not so sure I could trust the number that may appear.....we got a 46 the first time around! WHAT!!?? She doesn't even feel low! I'm re-checking that with my own meter! 48. AHHH! Juice!! Bring out the control solution to see if that meter is working correctly after its little swim in the ice chest! Its working just fine, she sure is 48!

Recheck 15 minutes later.....she's 281!!?? NO WAY! I'm cleaning that finger again and rechecking that....she's 152. I agree! Damn Diabetes! Enough chaos for one day dont ya think? Time for blood sugars to behave! I wish they did. For whatever reason hours and hours later Maddison hit 403 somewhere between midnight and 2am. -Sigh-

Yep, all this in just one swim day at our house! It's been a l-o-n-g summer already! Despite the Diabetes interuptions, it was a ton of fun to have everyone over and I can't wait to do it again! Of course, the pumps and meters will stay inside the nice cool house this time! Love ya Wendy and Beth!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Chasing lizards

The evening hours are Maddison's time to run wild in the back yard. Its been HOT in Phoenix! Even the swimming pool isn't so refreshing anymore. Yep, July is here. Tonight I went to check on Maddison outside. Sometimes I like to just sit watch Maddison's imagination run free.....

Me: "Whatcha doin' Maddison?"

Maddison: "Ahhh, Nothin' "

Me: "Whatcha got in the pitcher?" (realizing why all my dishes are disappearing)

Hmmmmmm.......look a little closer......lets see..........
Can you see what that TINY little spot is?
A brand new baby lizard! Just about an inch and a half long.....Ahhhhh....Maddison's been chasing lizards! Maddison favorite thing to do each day is walk around the yard looking for lizards. She has become quite the skilled lizard catcher over the years!

Way back before Diabetes, Maddison had a "lizard catching buddy" who looked forward to chasing lizards with her each day. This lizard catching buddy would walk right behind Maddison and help her trap and capture lizards as they ran up the backyard fence. "Gabby" was her name. "Gabby" was our first Golden Retriever that stole our hearts. With Gabby beside her, Maddison would play outside for hours. Just chasing lizards.

In October 2006 just two months before Maddison was diagnosed with Diabetes we had to put "Gabby" to sleep. Gabby had been diagnosed with cancer a few months earlier, and her condition was beginning to worsen. Maddison was 6 at the time, and had lived her entire life with Gabby by her side. Hannah was 9. A heartbreaking time for our entire family. So, a few months after Gabby went to heaven, along came Maddison's Diabetes diagnosis. Two months passed, and Maddison would still cry alot missing her lizard chasing buddy. I'll never forget when Maddison told me that Diabetes would be okay if she "still had Gabby to keep her feeling safe."

Back then being the mom of a newly diagnosed child, I spent hours upon sleepless hours on the internet searching for any information on Diabetes I could gather. True, I already had Diabetes myself.....but this was now my CHILD with Diabetes! Anyway...One night I came across ISLETS OF HOPE. Check out their website, it is amazing indeed! (Back then the website was brand new, it has grown TREMENDOUSLY since then) I noticed that the website mentioned they offer FREE quilts for children newly diagnosed with Diabetes. HOW COOL is that? I quickly signed Maddison up, hoping a nice quilt could help cheer her up. Looking through the patterns of quilts available, I came across A LIZARD pattern! How PERFECT for my little lizard lover :) When Maddison received her quilt in the mail there was a note attached that read:

"Maddison, here is a very special quilt for you sent from heaven above. I can see you have been brave and strong every day since being in the hospital. I'm proud of you, Love "Gabby"

Yep. I always think of Gabby when Maddison is chasing lizards. Then of course, I think about how Maddison lost Gabby at a time that couldn't have been worse. This quilt made Maddison's day back then. She was so happy to see the little note from "Gabby" but of course, she knew this Mom had something to do with it.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Back to 300%

Yesterday (again) was Day 1 of the 300% basal pattern increase for Maddison. This is the same basal increase that she had back in April, I assumed we were experiencing a new onset dawn phenomenon, something we had never before encountered since D invaded our lives in 2006. That 300% increase disappeared once summer started. Just like that. Hmmm. WEIRD. Well, whatever it is causing the increase of insulin resistance...its back in the afternoon this time around. 300% increase yesterday left Maddison in the 240 range...better than the 300's she's been having. For today I budged the basal up a tad an hour earlier AND changed her ratio from 1:27 for lunch to far still 240's today! So much for aggressive changes! WEIRD! How does that happen? No improvement?

That's a big ratio jump for no improvement today! I'm guessing that's based on the fact that Dad was home today. Yep, french fries and chicken again for lunch!! That's a typical Dad lunch for ya!! They always seem to go somewhere dreadful for lunch when Dads home. No wonder the kids think Dad is so much more fun :) Tomorrow I'm not adjusting anything for Maddison's highs, just hoping a healthier lunch with MUCH less fat will prove to be in our favor. Fingers crossed!